Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas
by MVeneer
Summary: Tara leaves Charming after she and Jax split. The wonderful life she expected hasn't happened. Her father gets her a plane ticket and tells her he has something to tell her. She returns, hoping to get in and out of town without seeing Jax or Gemma. The darkness she feels begins to lighten when she sees Jax. Warm and uplifting with a surprising happy end. FINALLY COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

7

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Author's Note:** If you haven't read Tara's Story or Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas, you can still understand this story. I'll fill in the information you need to understand the story, but this story fits into all the stories that I write and it also stands alone. And, there's a guaranteed happy ending or your money back.

 **Chapter 1 Wiping the Smile Off Her Face**

I thought when I left Charming, I would have this wonderful, amazing life. All I really had was heartbreak. Losing Jax had crushed me. I left Charming a screwed up, nerdy, mess of a girl and I was returning a little over a year later in even worse shape. I was still a nerdy, mess of a girl, only now I had purple hair and I dressed only in black.

I decided my life would be better if I just changed my appearance. That's how I ended up with purple hair. The hair color box described the color as plum and the picture showed a plum red color. My hair came out black with a purple sheen—more eggplant than plum. If I'd had some self-esteem, I would have felt horrible over the way it looked. Instead, I looked in the mirror and I discovered I didn't a damn about my appearance.

At least dressing in all black was working for me. I never had to worry about clothes matching. In some weird, new-age, So-Cal way, wearing black provided balm to my soul. It calmed me down. I didn't have to worry about wild colors. Life and laundry were easier when all your clothes were one color.

A week after my hair color debacle, my father surprised me with a round trip plane ticket to Charming. It was non-refundable and he added that he had something important to tell me. I thought he was going to tell me that he had some terminal illness, so as much as I didn't want to go, I had to go to Charming to see him. All I had to do was avoid Gemma and Jax.

I didn't want Jax to know that I was more of a mess now than I was when I left Charming. I had a little pride left. I also didn't want to see Gemma's smug look of satisfaction when she saw I'd returned to Charming looking worse than when I'd left.

My father always managed to undo any good he did almost immediately. He picked me up at the airport and then told me he had taken a last minute gig on Christmas Eve with his 80's cover band, the Fire Ants. He wouldn't be back until late afternoon on Christmas. It was like a knife to my heart, but not because I would miss him. It brought back memories of the first Christmas Jax and I had spent as a couple. (Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas)

That Christmas, my father also took a last minute gig on Christmas Eve. I'd fallen asleep on the couch and Jax had come by after midnight, so it was Christmas. We exchanged gifts and it had been the most perfectly romantic Christmas.

Being alone on Christmas Eve was easier than being with my father. He would tell me about his gigs and I would pretend to listen. He never asked about my life and I'd quit listening to him years ago. Music was the love of his life and that was never going to change. I'd keep myself busy. Maybe, I'd cut my hair or figure out something equally self-destructive to do to myself.

I decided if I baked, I'd be less likely to try to cut my hair. Going to the grocery store was risky. I could run into Gemma. I was hoping with my black clothes, purple hair and sunglasses, she might not recognize me. Gemma was not very smart, so I thought it was possible. That was me, always the optimist.

I made up a grocery list so I could get out of the grocery store as quickly as possible reducing the amount of time that I could potentially run into Gemma. I knew it was dangerous, but deep down inside I think I wanted to run into Gemma. It was just more self-destructive behavior.

I'd gone to the grocery store in the good old Cutlass. It was black, so it matched my skirt, boots, T-shirt and mood. I was so close to escaping. I had to just get some cheese for a cheese ball I always made for Christmas when she saw me.

I'd underestimated Gemma's intelligence because she recognized me right away. By the time I left Charming, I had a deep hatred for Gemma. It was so bad, I had death fantasies about her.

In one of my favorites, she was in the middle of the Pacific and I was in a boat. I had a life preserver and she was drowning. Before I could decide whether I should drive the boat away or wait and watch her drown, I find a bucket of chum. I dump it out and the sharks come and eat her while I watch. In none of my fantasies do I ever save her life.

"Hello, Tara," Gemma said, spitting my name out like it tasted bad. "Nice hair color. Back for Christmas?"

She looked me up and down and smiled that smug smile that made me feel like dirt under her feet.

I decided to give myself a Christmas present. I was going to wipe the smile off that bitch's face.

"Yes and no. I'm back for Christmas, but as soon as the semester is over, I'm moving back to Charming for good."

I wiped the smile off her face. She sucked in her breath and looked stunned. That was the worst thing I could say to her. I gave her a big smile and left her standing speechless in the cheese aisle.

I wasn't worried about Gemma telling Jax what I'd said. She wouldn't even tell him she'd seen me.

I returned and mixed up sugar cookies. I couldn't get the flood of memories out of my head. That first Christmas together, I had made a lot of cookies and sandwiches. Jax would watch me and help a little. He would kiss me dizzy. All those damned memories. Each one was like a stake to the heart.

I shouldn't have come back to Charming. To hell with my father. He only cared about himself. I should have insisted he tell me whatever he needed to tell me over the phone. No, I had to be the good little daughter and come back to Charming, hoping that maybe this time my father would want to finally be a father. Stupid me.

I'd just finished icing the last batch of sugar cookies when there was a knock at the door.

My heart began to beat hard and fast. I'd eaten some raw cookie dough and I thought I was going to throw up.

Don't be Jax. Don't be Jax. Don't be Jax. Be Jax. Please be Jax. Please be Jax. No. Don't be Jax. I'm so fucked. My hair is purple. Please don't be Jax.

Time slowed down and stopped. The distance from the kitchen table to the front door felt like thirty miles. My legs felt so shaky, I thought they were going to buckle.

Don't be Jax. Don't be Jax. Please don't be Jax. Please, please be Jax.

I didn't even look out the peephole before opening the door. It was Jax.

Oh, dear God, he looked good. Shaggy blonde hair, jeans, long sleeved blue flannel shirt and his cut. Sexy, dangerous and irresistible. I melted inside.

He came in and looked around.

"Where's your father?"

"Last minute gig. He won't be back until late tomorrow afternoon."

"Sounds familiar," he said.

"Can you stay tonight?" I whispered softly.

Jax looked at me, his gaze seemed to linger on my purple hair.

"Yeah, I can do that."

 **Thanks to the readers who voted or messaged me asking for a Christmas story. I wrote this for you.**

 _ **Author's Note This story is going to be short ending in either two or three chapters. I hope to post the next chapter next week and the last chapter the following week.**_


	2. Chapter 2

14

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Author's Note:** If you haven't read Tara's Story or Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas, you can still understand this story. I'll fill in the information you need to understand the story, but this story fits into all the stories that I write and it also stands alone. And, there's a guaranteed happy ending or your money back.

 **Chapter 2 The Jax Teller Experience**

My mouth opened and said words with no thinking being involved. I was shocked that I had the courage to ask Jax to stay the night. If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have had the guts to ask him. This was one of the few times in my life when talking without thinking worked.

I couldn't believe this amazing guy used to be mine and I couldn't understand how I walked away from him. I didn't know if I would have the strength to leave again.

He seemed so magical to me, part movie star/ rock star and part Navy SEAL. In the little over the year that passed, he seemed to have grown taller and the lanky teen body appeared more muscular. I just wanted my hands on him and his arms around me. I loved him so much it hurt.

My family wasn't one for hugging or showing emotion, but with Jax I'd learned to become a warmer, more hug giving person. With the passage of time, I'd reverted to what I'd known for sixteen years of my life—don't show emotion or hug anyone.

"Come over here and give me a kiss," he said, breaking the tension.

I'd gotten a little of my composure back, so I went over to him and slid my arm around him and kissed him on the cheek, exactly the way he used to kiss me before he started to kiss me romantically.

"What the hell was that?" he demanded, his blue eyes flashing with indignation.

"Recognize that kiss? It was the way you used to kiss me before you really kissed me."

"OK, you got me," he laughed. "Do you know why it took me so long to kiss you?"

"You were shy?"

"I needed to warm you up because I didn't think you could handle the full Jax Teller kissing experience."

"Don't think much of yourself, do you?"

He grinned and his eyes lit up with mischief.

"You look like you could use a nap. I think _I_ should supervise."

"Subtle."

"How's this?" Jax slid his arm around me and kissed me dizzy—the perfect, hard, passionate, kiss full of desperate longing. He was also moving me in the direction of my bedroom.

"Condom?"

"Still on birth control."

"Only girl I've never used a condom with," he said, giving me a smile.

For a second, it broke my happiness. Thinking of Jax with another girl hurt, but Jax being the chick magnet that he was, I knew he had to have been with other girls during our time apart.

I hadn't been with any other guys. The problem with college boys is they are college boys. Boys. Not men. I had been through so much in the more than three years I spent in Charming, I felt so much older. And no man could ever compare to Jax. I just didn't know this when I left Charming the first time.

Every cell in my body wanted him. He was the only guy who could release this passionate, sexually frenzied part of me and he was the only one who ever saw that side of me. We barely made it to my bed and we definitely didn't get many of our clothes off, but we got the ones off that needed removing.

Afterwards, we finished undressing each other and because I'd turned the heat off when I was baking, the house was cold, so we had to stay cuddled close together skin to bare skin to keep warm.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again. I can't believe you're moving back to Charming," Jax said.

I knew that I was probably underestimating Gemma's intelligence when I thought that she might not recognize me because I had purple hair and was wearing sunglasses, but I couldn't believe that Gemma had actually told Jax I was back. I couldn't be that wrong.

"Did Gemma tell you she saw me?"

"No, Donna saw you and overheard the conversation. She was shopping with Gemma."

"I didn't see her. Are she and Opie still together?"

Opie began seeing Donna a few months before I left. I didn't really get to know her, but she seemed like a good fit with him and she wasn't with him because he was in the MC. She was no crow-eater.

"Yeah, I think it's serious."

Jax thought I was coming back to Charming for good. I had to tell him the truth, but when? If I told him now, would he get up and leave? Would there really be any harm if I didn't tell him until later? We could squeeze in happiness and a lot of sex over the next couple of days and it was going to be hell to tell him. I should wait until at least after Christmas. That was the kindest thing to do.

OK. Truth. I was a coward and I didn't want to tell him because I wanted to be with him. And there was a chance I could change my mind.

When I left Charming, I missed everything about our relationship, but I craved the physical. Being with Jax was like a drug and I could never get enough.

"You have the most amazing skin. So soft and smooth. I love running my hands over your body."

"You have the magic Jax Teller touch."

"I do. Now about that nap . . ."

"I want you again before you go to sleep on me," I said, running my hands over his body, bringing him to life.

"Exactly what I planned."

No other man could ever compete with Jax when in came to sex. It wasn't all sexual skill or his enthusiasm; it was love. He was the only man I'd ever loved and sex with someone you love is different.

My skin seemed to vibrate under his touch; it was so electric. I wondered if we spent a couple of days in bed and had sex over and over again, if my desire for him would lessen. Was there a magic number that if we had sex that many times, I could get him out of my system?

Every time we had sex, I tried to remember every single part of it, where he touched, where he kissed and how it felt when he entered my body because I didn't know how many more times we'd be together.

I woke up first and just watched him sleep, memorizing how his long blonde eyelashes looked resting on his cheek, the curve of his lips that could turn into the legendary Jax Teller smile and the angled jaw that always looked so determined. I loved him so much. How the hell could I walk away from him again?

He was waking up because his hands began to caress my body, gentle soft little touches. We had spent so much time exploring each other's bodies back in high school and after; he knew exactly what I liked. I could feel the heat and desperation build in me until all I wanted was him _immediately_.

I read a lot and I had a pretty good vocabulary, but there were no words to adequately describe just how amazing sex with Jax felt. It gave me a reference. I knew what I needed to do to fake it with all the other guys.

After we had sex again, we began to dress.

"I'd like to visit my father's grave. You want to come with me? We can take the bike."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

I hadn't pulled on my skirt yet, so I switched to a pair of black denim jeans.

We walked into the kitchen.

"My father has a thermos. Do you want me to bring coffee or hot chocolate? It's going to be cold on the bike."

"Good idea. Hot chocolate would be good."

I quickly made hot chocolate the old way with milk, cocoa powder, sugar, salt and a dash of almond extract that was my own twist on the recipe. It tasted so much better than the powder from packets.

"After we get back, we can eat. I made spaghetti and meatballs."

"I know. That's why I agreed to stay tonight."

I had just finished the hot chocolate and poured it into my father's thermos.

"You son-of-a-bitch," I said, pretending to be angry. I walked over to him and hit his shoulders knocking him back a few feet.

He laughed and pulled me into him arms. He began kissing me on the neck and I tried to squirm away before he could kiss me on the ticklish area of my neck.

"I've missed you so much."

"Of course, I'm Jax Teller."

I laughed. Jax could always poke fun at himself. It was just one of his many traits that I loved.

He released me.

"Do you still have your helmet?"

"It's in my bedroom. I'll get it."

I'd left the helmet at my father's. It reminded me too much of Jax and I couldn't bear the pain of seeing it. It stayed in my closet in Charming.

"Just one second," I said when I returned to the kitchen.

I grabbed a snowman cookie, a star cookie and a candy cane from a bowl my father kept filled with them and stuffed them in a plastic bag.

"Is that for us?"

"No. It's for your dad."

"He loved Christmas cookies and candy canes," Jax said.

"I know. You told me."

He kissed me.

"You are always so considerate."

I smiled and said nothing. I felt so guilty. I hadn't lied to Jax about returning to Charming permanently; I just hadn't corrected him when he mentioned it. It was like a lying politician who shades the truth so much, it can't be recognized anymore.

Riding on the bike was always something I enjoyed. There was a freedom in feeling the world rush by. We spent a lot of time on the bike and having picnics in the summers. I had so many wonderful memories. They kept me company on those long, lonely days when we were apart.

Despite it being winter, riding on the bike wasn't that cold, but we were glad to have the hot chocolate when we got to the cemetery. I unwrapped the candy cane, took the cookies out of the plastic bag as well and leaned them against JT's tombstone and then I walked away so Jax could have a moment of privacy.

We returned to the house, but I'd forgotten to turn the heat back on.

"I'm cold," Jax said. "Come here and warm me up."

"I think you are trying to trick me into having sex with you again."

"I don't need to trick you. A couple of kisses and my hands and fingers in the right places works every time."

"Really? Remind me."

Jax reminded me and he had correctly predicted the results.

My father had gotten the Christmas stuff from the garage and stacked it in the living room. He had attempted to put the tree together, but he only got it halfway done and even that part was wrong. He must have been drunk, high or both because he'd put the branches for the top on the bottom. Jax took it all down and started over.

For a moment, I let myself dream of what a future with Jax would look like. Putting up our Christmas tree, getting the Santa presents from where we had hidden them and the looks on our kids' faces when they saw their presents. It looked so perfect in my imagination.

"Tara, your father," Jax shook his head and laughed.

Jax's voice broke me out of my daydream.

"I know. He's the poster boy for what happens when you start using pot in junior high. He's fried his brain and still fries it. About the only thing he can remember is song lyrics."

"Do you want to decorate the tree or wait until your father gets back?"

"After dinner. I just need to boil the spaghetti and do the bread and we'll be ready to eat. My father doesn't care about decorating the tree. He told me that after his parents died, he never put up a tree again until I came to live with him."

"That was nice."

"Yeah, I guess so. He isn't bad or mean. He's just messed up."

That was just a beautiful evening. We didn't talk about our relationship and I already had a way to distract Jax if he tried to bring it up; I was going to start taking off my clothes. I discovered this when I was in high school and it always worked. Poor Jax! He never even knew I was manipulating him. Men can be such idiots when it comes to sex.

After dinner, I played Christmas music while we decorated the tree. That was one of the best Christmas Eves of my life because I never expected that I would return to Charming or be back in Jax's arms.

That night in my bed, we told each other "I love you" and the world felt like a perfect place for the first time since I left Charming. I just needed to keep pushing away thoughts of the future and focus on living in the moment.

When we woke up and dressed Jax asked me to go to the brunch Gemma was having at the clubhouse. After, he needed to spend time with Gemma and open Christmas presents. He would come by, pick me up in the evening and take me back to the house he was renting with Opie. We would have the place to ourselves. Donna and Opie were going to her grandparents to stay for a few days.

"I don't think the brunch is a good idea," I said. "Your mom hates me and she wants me dead."

Jax laughed.

"Don't worry. She can't kill you. Too many witnesses."

"That's reassuring. I just think it might be better if I didn't go."

"I'll make sure you aren't alone with her."

I agreed. I put on a black tunic top and leggings. Jax watched me put on mascara.

"The purple hair is really starting to work for me. Not forever, but for now, I'm kind of into it."

"You say sweet things like that to me and I might have sex with you again."

"Remember, I'm Jax Teller and I know what you like."

"Yeah, you do," I said and kissed him before I put on my red lip stain.

One thing about going to Gemma's brunch, it would ruin it for her. She'd see how tight Jax and I were and it would be another gut punch.

Despite what Jax said I knew Gemma would make an opportunity to get me alone. I was making myself useful in the kitchen. It seemed safe enough. There were three other women who were helping in the kitchen and Gemma was arranging some pine cones and wreaths on the tables.

I had been focused on putting little pats of butter on the mound of mashed potatoes I had just transferred into a serving bowl when I looked up and it was just Gemma and me.

"Surprised to find you here," Gemma said.

"Why is that?"

"I wouldn't have thought Christmas was a holiday you would celebrate. When is Satan's birthday anyway?"

That was it. It was time to take Gemma down.

 **Author's Note: I plan to post the last chapter next week and the happy ending is locked in and it is going to be surprising. Tara is going to say something to Gemma that will blow Gemma's mind it will be so** _ **shocking**_ **.**

 **It also appears the website has fixed the problem of the disappearing stories. The first chapter of this story disappeared four times. I contacted support via email. It looked like when a story became the third or fourth story in the listing, it would disappear. When I figured this out, I sent them another email. Glad it appears fixed.**

 **M**


	3. Chapter 3

8

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Author's Note:** If you haven't read Tara's Story or Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas, you can still understand this story. I'll fill in the information you need to understand the story, but this story fits into all the stories that I write and it also stands alone. And, there's a guaranteed happy ending or your money back.

 **THIS IS A REPOST OF THIS STORY. I POSTED CHAPTER 3 A FEW DAYS AGO. I WAS LOOKING AT THE SITE WHEN I DISCOVERED THAT MY STORY HAS MYSTERIOUSLY VANISHED _AGAIN_. THE FIRST CHAPTER DISAPPEARED _FOUR_ TIMES. NOW MY ENTIRE STORY HAS DISAPPEARED AGAIN. I DID TRY TO UPDATE THE STORY, BUT IT DIDN'T WORK.**

 **Chapter 3 Like a Kicked Puppy**

I stood my ground. It would have been easy to leave the kitchen, but I wasn't about to let Gemma think she had hurt me. My unhappy time away from Charming had begun to toughen me up. Heartbreak will do that.

"I wouldn't know about Satan's birthday, but I'm sure you'll find out one day when you meet him."

I hoped Gemma got that I had just told her that one day, she would go to hell.

"I thought goth was out," Gemma said, trying again to wound me.

"It's more in than badly striped hair. Your hair is a cross between a zebra and a tiger. Really, Gemma, striped hair is for animals of the non-human variety."

Gemma was rocking a particularly bad highlight job. Her hair was dirt brown with thick burnt orange highlights in a striped pattern. I counted eleven stripes.

I'd never been so openly mean to Gemma, but now, it really didn't matter how much she hated me; I didn't have to be nice to her for Jax's sake anymore. I was going to leave town and what Gemma thought of me didn't matter.

Gemma smiled and it was the scary smile that meant that she had just come up with something that she was sure would crush me.

"Do you know how many girls Jax has screwed since you?"

It was too bad for Gemma that I had already figured out Jax had drowned his heartbreak inside every available girl. Jax liked girls and they were drawn to him. We hadn't been together when he was with them.

"OK, this is fun," I said with a smile. "Do you want me to guess the exact amount? It's a little creepy you keeping tabs on your son's sex life. If you're keeping a list, add my name back in. Do you need to know positions and time?"

Gemma's lips stretched into a scary clown smile. This was going to be her supreme crushing blow.

I braced myself for impact. The advantage of being raised to not show emotion was I didn't show emotion. Gemma couldn't gauge whether her attacks had wounded me. So far, I was unscathed.

"Jax's been with hundreds of girls."

OK, that number was a lot higher than I liked, but it meant that Jax hadn't found someone to love. If he'd fallen in love with someone, he wouldn't be screwing around.

"Do you know why Jax has been with hundreds of girls? Do you, Gemma? It's because he's trying to find a girl that can compare to me. I have mad, _mad_ sex skills."

It was my turn to give her a big smile. Jax walked into the kitchen.

"It's nice to see you two getting along," Jax said.

"We've had a really nice talk," I said.

Gemma just stood there blinking, her eyes looking dazed and confused like a wild animal that had just been hit with a tranquilizer dart. She shook her head as if to clear it. The conversation had taken an unexpected turn and she was the one who had been burned.

One of the best gifts a man can give a woman is sexual confidence. Jax made me feel hot as hell and like a sex goddess. My father's weekend life as the lead singer of the 80's cover band, The Fire Ants meant he was gone every Friday and Saturday for about fifty weeks a year. Once we started having sex, Jax spent almost every Friday and Saturday night with me and we spent a huge amount of time discovering each other's bodies and having sex.

Jax hadn't wasted much time at my house before we hit the sheets, so that meant to me that he wanted me and he hadn't found anyone that satisfied him. I didn't like the number of girls, but it was a lot better than one girl because that meant it was a relationship.

It was stupid for me to even worry about this because I was going back to school and leaving Charming. My time with Jax was just a fling. He just didn't know it.

Jax and I sat with Donna and Opie. She and Opie were bubbling over with happiness. He proposed to her on Christmas Eve and she accepted his proposal. Opie was a little shy about all the attention, but Donna was proudly showing off the delicate diamond engagement ring.

Jax and Opie were going through the buffet line again.

"Jax was so happy that you were back in town," Donna said.

"I didn't even see you," I said.

"My back was turned and I was looking for bleu cheese. Tell me something, how did you handle the MC?"

"You have to accept it. Jax and Opie will never leave the MC. They were practically born into it."

"Opie is always vague about what they do. I know it's outlaw, but how outlaw?"

"They do more than breaking the speed limit and parking in red zones. Much more than that, I don't know," I said, lying to Donna.

Donna was so happy, I just couldn't take that away from her. I thought about telling Donna what I knew about SAMCRO, but Jax told me things in confidence and I couldn't break that confidence.

Looking back, I wonder if I had warned her away from Opie and the MC if she would have listened. If I were in her place, I wouldn't have listened. Love can make you deaf, dumb and blind. I had been all three.

My father was waiting for me when I got home. He was sitting in his chair, looking like a kicked puppy. He may not have been the best father, but I didn't like to see him hurt.

I poured us both some iced tea.

"You back with Jax?"

"I guess. He's coming by later this evening and I'm staying with him tonight."

He nodded.

"I thought I was going to tell you that I was getting married," my father began, "but I got a surprise on Christmas Eve."

My father had fallen in love this past spring with a singer in a Fleetwood Mac cover band. It was the first time he'd had a girlfriend in many years. He preferred one night stands with groupies—yes even cover bands have groupies and my father was a handsome man with rugged good looks, dark hair and hazel eyes.

"You caught her cheating?"

"I didn't catch her cheating, but she probably did because she told me she was dumping me for a guy who plays bass in a Journey cover band. The guy doesn't even sing."

"I always hated Fleetwood Mac," I said. "Maybe she'll change her mind. Maybe it's just a fling."

He shrugged.

"It doesn't matter. I don't want her back now."

I didn't know what else to say. I didn't have enough life experience to help him. I couldn't help myself either.

"I'm done. No more relationships for me."

"There's a bright side. You never have to listen to Fleetwood Mac again and she was a crap singer."

He had sent me a clip of her singing a Fleetwood Mac song and she was doing the whole Stevie Nicks thing in a long shapeless floral dress, frizzy permed hair and platform shoes. She turned in circles a little too fast and almost crashed into the keyboard player.

My father laughed.

"Yeah, she was," he said and laughed again. "I hate Fleetwood Mac."

"See, she did you a favor. Never having to listen to Fleetwood Mac or hear her screechy voice makes you the winner."

My father smiled at me.

"You are a good daughter, Tara."

I wasn't a good daughter or I might have helped him live a better life, but I was barely functioning since Jax and I split.

"Christmas presents," I said. I crawled over to the tree and got out the presents.

My father's invitation had been so last minute I had already sent him his presents. I checked the presents I'd gotten for him to see if he'd unwrapped them and then rewrapped them, but they were perfectly intact. The ones he'd gotten for me were also under the tree.

We took turns opening our presents. I always tried to find some great British comedy TV series because he loved English humor. I got him the complete set of "The Young Ones" and the first five seasons of "Trailer Park Boys." "Trailer Park Boys" wasn't British. It was from Canada, but I thought he would like it.

He got me his usual Amazon gift certificate for me, but this time he also got me a more personal gift—and a scarf and hat set in a beautiful shade of merlot.

"I thought that color would look pretty on you with your dark hair and eyes," he said.

"Thanks. I love the color. It's perfect."

"Tara, I know I haven't been much of a father."

This wasn't the first time he'd said this to me. I wondered where this conversation was going to head this time. If the past predicted the future, it wasn't going to go anywhere good.

 **Author's Note: This was supposed to be the final chapter, but it was running long and I had some other things I wanted to add. There will be one final chapter that will be posted on Valentine's Day since it will have the much promised and already written happy ending.**


	4. Chapter 4

13

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Author's Note:** If you haven't read Tara's Story or Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas, you can still understand this story. I'll fill in the information you need to understand the story, but this story fits into all the stories that I write and it also stands alone. And, there's a guaranteed happy ending or your money back.

 **Chapter 4 The Jax Teller of My High School**

I had enough emotional turmoil trying to figure out what I was going to do about Jax and me. I didn't want anymore drama.

"We don't need to go into the past," I said, hoping I could end the conversation.

"I haven't given you advice. I thought how could I give you advice when my life isn't exactly successful? Maybe that's why I should give you advice. I think you get one great love in your life. For your mother, it was me. That's why she never remarried. For me, it was always music. It isn't that I don't love you."

"I know. You love music more."

This wasn't new to me. I knew that my father's passion for music was the big love of his life. I had not only come to accept it, I was glad that he had something in his life that he loved. It made it easier for me to leave him alone.

"Do you love Jax more than me?"

"It's not the same type of love."

"Love is love. Who do you have more love for, Jax or me?"

"Jax."

"Now you know how I can love music more than my daughter."

"I've always known this. It isn't a competition."

"I never told you whether you should stay or leave Charming. I was wrong. I should have told you what I should have done. You should get the hell out of Charming and never come back. Ever. I mean it. Don't come back again."

"You were the one who gave me the ticket," I jumped to my feet, suddenly angry. I was here because he _wanted_ me here.

"I know," he said, calmly. "I'm not talking about now."

I returned to the couch. My father had never given me advice before and, while I was skeptical that anything he could say could help me, I was willing to listen simply because he'd never given me advice until now. Maybe he would shock me and it would be helpful. It was unlikely, but possible.

"I'm listening," I prompted.

"Tara, when I left your mother it was because I cared more about my music than my wife and daughter. Your grandmother told me to come back to Charming and I could pursue my music. Los Angeles is not that far away.

"I did the hard part by leaving you and your mother and then I was weak. I moved back in with your grandparents. I should have moved to LA and waited on tables and slept on the streets if that's what it took to further my career. Instead I moved back here and it was too comfortable. Velvet handcuffs. I had the love and the passion, but I lacked the drive—that's why I'm a singer in a cover band."

"Just because you aren't hugely successful doesn't mean that it was for nothing. You are a really great singer," I said. I wasn't being nice. He was a good singer and he was great on stage.

"I should have made the break. I should never have come back to Charming. I do think that your mom and aunt did a better job raising you. If I had been there, I think I would have screwed up somehow."

"You aren't a terrible father. You didn't beat me or molest me. You aren't a mean person."

"I guess by those standards, I'm a great father," he said with a smile. "I _have_ missed you. I got used to having you around. I think that's why I was thinking about getting married and having someone around."

"You can find someone else," I said.

"I think I'll just get used to being on my own again. Did Jax spend last night with you?"

"Yes."

"Are you using birth control?"

"Of course. Was I an accident?"

I wondered if my father's concern about birth control was because my birth was unplanned and he wanted to make sure that I didn't repeat his mistake.

"No. I thought if your mother had a baby, she would demand less of my time. I would have music and she would have you. It made things worse because she wanted to have family time."

"Did you love her?"

"I loved her, but not as much as I love music. She knew that. I told her. I think she thought that I would change my mind that I would fall deeper in love with her and I would love her more than music. I was honest about my feelings, but she didn't believe me."

"My mother never told me about how you met or anything. It just seemed too painful for her to talk about, so I never brought it up. I was still just a kid when she died. I always thought when I got to be a teenager, she would tell me more."

"We met in high school. Before your mom, I was with a lot of girls including Gemma. I was the Jax Teller of my high school—only instead of an MC I had a rock band."

"You dated Gemma?"

My father grabbed a beer from the fridge and returned to his chair.

"It was less dating and more just sex," he said, taking a long pull on his beer bottle. "Preachers' kids turn out either obsessively moral or go the opposite way. Gemma was kind of the Ima of my high school only she ended up with an MC and not in porn."

"You have any blackmail worthy info on Gemma?"

"I can tell you why she really left Charming. She tells everyone she ran away from Charming because her parents were moving away from Charming. I know my brain's eroded, but does that even make sense? She could have waited until they moved and then come back to Charming."

"I agree with you. I thought it was a really stupid reason, but Gemma is really stupid."

"My band at that time, The Water Moccasins, got its first big gig singing at a dance at the high school. Gemma wanted to be a singer, so my bandmates did a deal and in exchange for oral sex, they would let her sing a song. I was with your mom by then, so I wasn't in on that deal. She was so bad, she got helped from the stage by the audience."

"How did they help her?"

"They threw things at her and booed. It was the worst performance I've ever been involved with. After that, she couldn't get out of Charming fast enough. She shook down a bunch of guys—told them she was pregnant and needed money for an abortion."

"Did she try to get money out of you?"

He shook his head

"No, I was with your mother and I hadn't been with Gemma for almost a year, so if she had been pregnant, it couldn't have been mine."

"What was the song that she was singing?"

"It was a cover of a "Heart" song. I think it was "Alone". It's a great song, but you've got to be able to sing your ass off to cover a "Heart" song. Gemma couldn't handle the lower registers and when she tried to hit the high notes, she screeched. She sounded like a parrot being attacked. It was funny as hell."

My father did an imitation of a parrot being attacked using his beer bottle as the parrot and screeching. It was hilarious. Until I returned, I'd forgotten just how funny and fun he could be.

"Can you sing that song?"

"Of course," he said.

My father's voice and the lyrics brought back that time from high school when I could get Jax alone, but I didn't know how to get him to cross from friend to more. All that frustrated yearning came back to me.

At the time, it had been hellish. I didn't think I'd ever get out of the friend zone. I didn't think Jax would fall in love with me. I'd thrown our relationship away once, I didn't know if I would be brave enough or foolish enough to do it again.

I focused on my father's voice. He really had a beautiful voice and perfect pitch. Effortlessly, he hit all the song's high notes and brought out all the song's beauty. Every time I heard him sing, I was always surprised by his talent.

When he sang, it was like someone flipped a switch and he went from mellow to alive even when he was just singing in the living room for me.

"That was really great," I said. "I get why you love music. You seem lost in your own world."

I was always trying to fit him into this mold of the perfect father. He was never going to be that TV dad. Seeing him after this break though really helped me see him for his good points. I liked his honesty even when it was to his detriment. It was one of his traits that I think I have.

"Do you think you and Jax could just stay here tonight? I'd really like to spend extra time with you. We could watch "A Christmassy Ted" and then some of the DVDs you gave me. It will be fun. Like old times. Of course, he can stay over."

"I'll call him."

"He owes me a couple of favors for the times when we hid him from Gemma. Remember that one time when she came to the house and tried to look in the garage windows to see if Jax's bike was parked inside?"

"You were a step ahead when you put in window coverings, so she couldn't look in. It was so much fun making her crazy. That was very cool of you."

"Or immature depending on your view, but it was fun. Call in the favors if you have to."

When Gemma was being especially controlling, Jax would hide out at my house. He would put his bike in the garage and not answer his phone. It drove Gemma insane, although sometimes that was a short trip. Those were good times.

Spending an evening watching DVDs with my father could be a lot of fun. We had spend a number of evenings doing that. I'd forgotten just how much fun those times had been and Jax wouldn't bring up our relationship issues in front of my father.

I went to my bedroom and called Jax. He was actually enthusiastic about spending the evening with my father as long as I promised we would go to his place the next night.

"He's going to come over and stay the night."

"Good. Thanks Tara. I'm sure you were hoping for a nice romantic evening with just the two of you."

"We had that last night and we'll have it tomorrow night."

Jax occasionally spent the night with me when my father was home. My father just had a more modern view of sex and he trusted me. It all came back to the fact that he left me alone on weekends when I was in high school and he didn't have much choice.

My father had actually thought about Christmas dinner. He had gotten a supermarket holiday meal with ham, scalloped potatoes, green bean casserole and dinner rolls. There was even an apple pie. It was great. All I had to do was heat things in the oven.

"There's just another thing about Jax coming over," I said. "He thinks I'm moving back to Charming."

I explained to my father what happened when I met Gemma at the supermarket.

"OK, I won't say anything. You aren't seriously planning to move back to Charming? I meant it when I told you to get out of Charming."

"I might move back. Everything is just so hard."

"That's not a good reason to return. You have dreams outside of Charming. You can't live in Charming and go to college. There isn't a school in commuting distance. You know that."

"I do."

"We'll talk about this more later," my father's voice was surprisingly firm.

"OK," I agreed.

My father was actually acting like a father. He was being a parent and trying to help me make my decision about returning to Charming. It was surprising. I felt guilty because I had always judged him so harshly back in high school.

While we ate Christmas dinner, my father told Jax and me funny stories about his experiences with his band. He and Jax got along well together, but my father was a hard person to dislike. He was just so easy-going. I wish Gemma were more like my father.

After dinner, we watched _A_ _Chrismassy Ted_ , the Christmas episode from _Father Ted_. It's a comedy from Ireland about three priests who have been exiled to Craggy Island for various misdeeds from chasing women to embezzling money. Watching the _A Christmassy Ted_ was kind of my father's and my Christmas tradition.

We had just begun watching the first episode of Trailer Park Boys when my father paused the program.

"I have this really great idea. We're doing a big New Year's Eve concert just a couple of hours away. I have a suite for doing the concert and I got a room for Tara. Why don't you two come to the show? You can have the suite."

I looked at Jax and kind of held my breath. I liked the idea of spending New Year's Eve with Jax watching my father perform, but I didn't know how he would like the idea.

"That sounds like fun," Jax said. "We should definitely do that."

"OK," I agreed.

My father smiled at us and resumed playing the DVD. Trailer Park Boys wasn't Monty Python genius or even Father Ted great, but it was funny and we all enjoyed it.

Sitting hand in hand with Jax on the couch watching videos with my father made me feel like I'd gone back in time. It would be so easy to come back to Charming, but what kind of future could I have if I did that?

I pushed all thought of the future away and focused on the now and the feel of my hand in Jax's. I have small, delicate hands with long slender fingers. Jax's hands were nearly twice the size of mine. With my hand in Jax's, I always felt safe.

Jax rubbed my wrist with his thumb. That was our secret signal that meant he was thinking about later. I squeezed his hand to let him know I was thinking about later too.

After a couple of hours, my father went to bed. He had to spend the next day working on the set list with his band. Bang, the group's drummer was going to pick him up, so I could have the car. His thoughtfulness surprised me.

Jax and I went to my bedroom a short time later only we weren't planning on sleep—at least not for awhile. When he first started staying over, it was a little awkward, but that quickly faded. My father's bathroom and closet were next to my bedroom wall. He always slept with earplugs and he was a little deaf from music played too loudly. Unless I was screaming in pleasure, he wouldn't hear a thing.

"Thanks for coming over," I said to Jax as I shut and locked my bedroom door.

"I do expect something in return," he said, sliding his hands under my black shirt.

"You owe me for all the times I hid you from Gemma."

"What do you want from me?"

"Same thing you want from me," I said. I stood on tiptoe and kissed him.

"Before we get too carried away, take off my cut."

"Have you always been so demanding?" I asked as I stripped Jax's cut off and hung it carefully over a desk chair.

"Now give me a kiss," he said pointing to his lips.

"No."

"OK, you are going to have to pay the price for telling me no."

"What's the price for telling you yes?"

Jax laughed.

"You got me because it's the same as the price for telling me no. Tara the college girl is too smart for me."

"I took a math class."

"Really? I think I'll teach you a little biology."

"I bet it's not the kind we learned in Mr. Ragwell's class."

"Of course not. You already learned that stuff."

"Teach me something new, Dr. Teller."

After Jax taught me a few new things, we fell asleep tangled up together until a few hours later when a cell phone rang.

"Yours or mine?" Jax asked me.

"Yours," I said, rolling over and handing it to him.

I knew before he spoke that it had to be SAMCRO. I couldn't hear the other end of the conversation, but I caught enough that I recognized Chib's accent.

"Sorry, I gotta go," Jax said.

He dressed quickly.

I walked with him to the front door, so I could lock it behind him.

"Be careful and don't get hurt."

I'll call you," he said and gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

Some things weren't different. All the anxious waiting that I had done over the years came rushing back to me. The fear and the worry that left my stomach in knots—there were definitely things I didn't miss about Charming.

I tried to get back to sleep, but I couldn't quit wondering what the hell had gone wrong. I tried not to think about Jax getting shot, beaten or locked up. The reality of living in Charming hit me full force.

I must have drifted off to sleep because the phone woke me up a few hours later.

"Are you OK?"

"I'm fine, darlin'. How long do you think it would take to plan a wedding?"

I blinked, making sure I was awake and this wasn't some kind of dream.

 **Author's Note: What happened to the ending? Easy answer—this story isn't over yet. Sometimes as I write a story, it opens up and moves in a way that I hadn't originally planned, but it feels so right with this story, I have to write it.**

 **So, the next and final chapter will have a wedding, a crazy dance and a happy ending for Jax and Tara. I hope to post it next week because I want to get back to Tara's Story and Jax Is Really Alive and I want to wrap this up before I do that.**


	5. Chapter 5

11

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 5 Uncool Jax**

Jax's words surprised me, but I decided it was time for a little surprise of my own.

"Oh, baby, I never thought you would ask me. Yes! Yes! Yes! Of course, I'll marry you."

There was a long pause. I was shaking with laughter. Sometimes, you just have to torture the ones you love a little.

"Uh, well . . ."

It isn't often that the smooth and cool Jax Teller lost his composure, but this was one of those rare moments when he was at a loss for words.

"I think we should get married right away . . . tomorrow or even today!"

There was another long pause and I could practically hear Jax's mind working hard trying to figure out what the hell was going on and how the hell he was going to get out of it.

"You're playing me, right?"

"Damned right I am," I said.

"I may have to punish you for that."

"I can hardly wait. Now, explain yourself."

"Opie and Donna are thinking about getting married in the next couple of days."

There was something in his voice that made me not ask about the rush. I'd figure out what was happening with just a little patience.

"And?"

"How long do you think it would take to plan a wedding?"

"It isn't hard to get married. You do the paperwork and get someone to do the ceremony. Just a trip to the courthouse. For a wedding, that would depend on how many people and if Donna's done any preparations."

"Donna is OK with a quick courthouse wedding, but Opie thinks she would really prefer a small wedding if something could be put together quickly."

"How many people?"

"Just the MC and a few guests. Under twenty."

"What about food and entertainment?"

"I hadn't thought about that. Something simple."

"OK. I'll work up some options and costs."

"Thanks a lot, Tara. Maybe we can go over everything tonight."

"If I have questions, can I call Donna?"

"No, if we can work out all the details, Opie wants to surprise her."

"That's so sweet."

"Thanks for doing this. Gotta go, I'll come pick you up about 5."

"OK."

When Jax mentioned marriage, I realized that as much as loved him, I was a long way from wanting to be married. The men of SAMCRO haven't come into the modern world. Their view of a woman's place belongs to the 1950's meaning that the woman was responsible for all the cooking, cleaning and parenting. I wasn't ready to settle into what seemed to me like a life of domestic servitude. I also believed marriage was the quickest way to kill romance.

Despite my feelings on marriage, I was happy to play wedding planner for Donna and Opie. I think the desire to plan a wedding was something that every woman has in her. I could satisfy my desire to plan a wedding without having to go through the ceremony.

Jax didn't need to tell me that money was a factor in planning the wedding. This wasn't going to be one of those big expensive weddings that was going to cost tens of thousands of dollars. It was going to be the nicest wedding I could plan on the lowest budget possible.

I figured out all the different options from a courthouse ceremony to a small ceremony held somewhere free. I included options for flowers, different refreshments and entertainment. Planning the wedding had completely fulfilled that inner wedding planner in me.

As a reward for finishing my project, I drove my father's car to the Small Mall, so named because it's a small mall. I used to love to eat at the little Mexican restaurant inside and then go to the drugstore to look at the make-up and the bookstore to find cheap books.

The small mall was still there, but while I was gone, the bookstore had closed. I ate lunch at the Mexican restaurant, but the food didn't seem as good as I remembered. I'd been gone from Charming for a bit over a year and everything had gone to hell. I was being overly dramatic again, just like high school. I guess some things never change.

My father returned from his band rehearsal excited by the new set list.

"You are going to love the new set list," he told me. "We're even putting in a cover of Heart's "Alone".

"It's going to sound amazing with the band."

He nodded his head and suddenly the enthusiasm left him.

"I thought this New Year's Eve I was going to be celebrating my engagement."

"You forgot her screechy voice and all the Fleetwood Mac songs," I said to cheer him up. "She would have driven you crazy."

"Yeah. That would have been a nightmare. I dodged a bullet."

"It was kind of you to give Jax and me your suite."

"There is just one thing about the concert . . ."

"You want me to pretend to be your sister?" I interrupted. Any time I went to one of my father's concerts, I always pretended to be his sister. It didn't bother me. He's in a business that prizes youth. I didn't blame him. He wasn't ashamed of me; he was ashamed of his age.

"Yes," he said with a grin.

"I'll make sure Jax plays along."

"Tara I know you love Jax. He's a good guy, but that MC could drag him down, put him in prison or get him killed."

"It scares me," I admitted.

My father and I were in our usual positions, he in his recliner, beer bottle in hand and me on the couch.

"I wish you could get Jax out of Charming, but that MC has such a hold over him. Remember, when I told you yesterday that I think we all have one great love?"

"I remember."

"I think the MC might be Jax's great love. He sees the MC just like I see music."

I realized this too when I was making the decision to leave Charming. I feared my father was right; that Jax would always love the MC more than me. I told myself it wasn't a competition, but I didn't like the idea that Jax would always put the MC first.

"You're afraid that our relationship will turn out like you and my mom's."

"That's only partly it. I think you deserve to be with a man who will love you more than an MC and its fake brothers."

I'm not sure when my father's brain fog cleared long enough for him to come up with these thoughts, but he was really trying to help me. What he was saying made sense.

"I think about that too," I admitted.

"Enjoy every second you can with Jax, consider it a last chance to say good-bye to him."

"I'm not sure I'm going to be able to say good-bye to him again."

"I still have more advice for you. Now, I'm going to grab some sleep."

"I'm leaving at 5 and going to Jax's for the night."

"OK, call me in the morning and we'll figure out what we're going to do. I still want to spend time with you. I took the whole week off."

"I'll call you."

I packed an overnight bag with a few clothes and the wedding plans I'd worked so hard on. Jax picked me up on his motorcycle.

The house he and Opie were renting was small with a car port that would come in handy for the bikes. There was a small kitchen and breakfast area, a living room and two bedrooms on opposite sides of the house. The color scheme was the always popular beige. A big beige sofa and a couple of darker beige recliners and a big TV. And of course, there were Harley mirrors and posters of scantily clad women.

The house was messy but clean, so I assumed that Gemma had to have helped clean the house. It was difficult to picture Jax or Opie using a vacuum cleaner. The men of SAMCRO had minimal domestic skills.

"About your punishment . . ." Jax said.

"I'm scared," I said trying to look frightened, but I giggled and that ruined the effect.

"That's it. I tried to give you a chance, but I'm just going to have to punish you."

Jax picked me up, put me over his shoulder and spanked me a couple of times before he carried me to his bedroom and dumped me on his bed. He covered me with his body and kissed me long and hard. He began to unbutton my shirt when we heard the door open.

"Jax," an all too familiar voice called.

"Shit. If I don't answer, she'll come looking for me."

Jax had already gotten up when Gemma barged into the room.

"Sorry," Gemma said trying to appear contrite. "I just wanted to let you know I got you some cleaning supplies and left them on the kitchen counter."

"Thanks."

"Oh, I almost forgot. Naomi is looking for you."

That last comment was so typical of Gemma. She couldn't just leave; she had to take a little jab at me.

"Tell Naomi she can quit looking for Jax," I said sweetly. "I found him. He isn't missing anymore."

"Well," Gemma said frowning at me. "I'll just let you two get back to whatever you were doing.

Jax walked Gemma out and I could hear him locking the door behind her. A locked door wouldn't stop Gemma if she wanted in. I was certain she had a key.

"I don't know any Naomi," Jax said before resuming his position on top of me. "I don't know why Gemma always tries to stir shit up with you."

"Everyone needs a hobby."

"Back to your punishment," Jax said.

"I was hoping for more punishment," I said as I unzipped his jeans.

This time we managed to have sex without Gemma barging in on us. I swear that woman just wanted to catch us, so she could embarrass me. It wouldn't have embarrassed Jax. I don't think anything ever embarrassed him.

It was raining, so Jax's plan to barbeque was scrapped. He got out a skillet and grabbed the meat from the fridge. He got the hamburger that was already formed into patties.

"It is so strange watching you cook."

"We took cooking together in high school. You've seen me cook plenty of times."

"That's not how I remembered it. I think I did most of the work while you and Opie goofed off. You both cheated off me on every test."

"We were a team and it was a team effort," Jax said. "We cheated off you to show you just how much we trusted you. We knew you wouldn't let us down."

"I get it now. It was an exercise in trust."

"Yes and you passed."

That was Jax Teller smooth. He always found a way to talk his way out of a situation just like Ricky in "Trailer Park Boys". I decided not to share that thought with him. Instead I talked about the wedding plans.

"If they get married before I leave, I'll make the wedding cake."

"When are you leaving?"

"I'm flying back on January 2."

"I think they will get married before that."

I was still curious about why Opie and Donna were in such a rush to get married. When I saw Donna on Christmas at the clubhouse she hadn't looked pregnant.

In the next few days, I would discover why Donna needed to get married so quickly and it had nothing to do with pregnancy.

 **Author's Note: Once again, I have discovered that this story isn't ending here. There will be two more chapters. The next chapter covers the time period up to the wedding and chapter 7, the final chapter, will cover the wedding, New Year's Eve and have the happily ever after ending.**

 **As I wrote this story, it just fell into place that Opie and Donna were going to get married. Of the stories that I write, this is the only one that has a place for an Opie and Donna love story.**

 **I would rather take longer to do a story and feel satisfied that I wrote the story that I wanted to tell than to meet a deadline that I put on myself. I am also determined to finish this story so I can return to Tara's Story and Jax Is Really Alive. Sometime I also need to do chapters for Strange Times for SAMCRO and 52 Shades of Jax, but I'm not sure when I will fit them in because I have other stories outside of SOA to write.**

 **I hope to post Chapter 6 in a week and the last chapter the following week. It works better to do shorter chapters. It gives me better pacing.**


	6. Chapter 6

9

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 6 Trouble Spot**

Jax actually made the special sauce we'd learned in home ec—the not so secret sauce of mayo, ketchup and pickle relish for the hamburgers. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe the men of SAMCRO could be domesticated.

After dinner, I started to go through the wedding plans and all the different variations. He told me to skip all the options and tell him about the plan I thought would be the best.

I gave him my best plan. It would be a nice simple wedding with minimal expense. Donna's dress would be the most expensive item since I was volunteering to make the cake. It would be hard to find a bakery to do a wedding cake on such short notice. I'd done a couple of simple wedding cakes with my aunt, so I knew how to make a basic wedding cake.

"We are going to need a place to hold it," I said. "The weather isn't right for an outdoor wedding. Do you think Opie and Donna could use the clubhouse?"

"I think I can talk Clay into it."

Opie called and Jax gave me the phone, so I could explain my plan. Opie liked my plan and thought Donna would be pleased. He asked me if I could take Donna wedding dress shopping. I agreed. I really wanted to ask him why she didn't have her mother or a friend take her, but there was just something about his tone of voice that kept me from asking. Maybe I was imagining drama where none existed, but it seemed like something was going on with Donna.

"It looks like there is really going to be a wedding on New Year's Eve," Jax said when he finished his call with Opie.

"Do you think it will be over in time for us to go to my father's show?"

"Opie wants the ceremony in the early evening, so we should be out of there by 8."

"Great. I really want to see my father's show."

Donna called me sounding very excited. We talked about colors and cake flavors. She decided she wanted red and gold for colors and carrot cake. She also wanted the wedding cake to be frosted in red and not the traditional white. I warned her that I couldn't make a cake with fancy flowers. My decorating skills were pretty basic. She assured me that it didn't matter to her. We planned to go wedding shopping the day after she returned from her grandparents' house.

"I was just getting used to Opie being engaged," Jax said.

We were cuddled up together on his couch.

"Are you going to move out or will they find a place together?"

"We haven't talked about it. I'll probably end up at the clubhouse for awhile."

"You could always move back in with Gemma."

"That's cruel."

"She would love to have you back home."

"What about you?"

Stupid me! Oh, hell! I'd accidentally led the conversation into a dangerous area—where I was going to live when I returned to Charming. It was time to start taking off my clothes because I didn't want to tell him I might not be coming back to Charming. I was still deciding.

"Look, I've got some of that delicious sauce you made on my top," I said pointing to my chest. "I need to change my shirt."

"It's fine. I can't even see it."

That was because there wasn't a spot. I needed a little justification for removing my clothes, but then, Jax probably wouldn't have cared if I started stripping off my clothes for no reason.

"I need to change my shirt," I said. "I'm having some trouble with the top button. Can you help?"

Jax's lips curved into a smile, his eyes shining with laughter.

"Unbuttoning a shirt can be tricky. Dangerous even. You were right to ask for help."

Jax's fingers brushed my skin as he slowly unbuttoned the first button of my shirt. His eyes looked down the front of my top at my breasts, just as I knew he would. It didn't matter that he'd seen them less than an hour ago.

"That second button looks like it's going to be a problem. Tara, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm seeing some real trouble with your clothes. Better just take them off. Get rid of the problem. Clothes are the easiest to take off in my bedroom."

"Really? I think you are trying to trick me into having sex with you again."

Jax got up and pulled me to my feet.

"How about instead of tricking you into having sex with me, I seduce you into having sex with me?"

"That would be a first."

"Really?" he said pulling me into his arms and kissing the spot on my neck that makes me squirm. "You are going to pay for that comment," he whispered in my ear. "There might be another spanking in your future."

We spent the rest of the evening in bed. I'd brought my laptop and some DVDs, so we watched DVDs and had sex just like we were back in high school. When our relationship was at its best, it was light, playful, a little silly, fun and soaked with sex and romance.

When I left Jax, I missed talking to him, but I ached for his touch. I craved him. I wanted to have sex with him until I had filled up my brain with memories in case I left Charming for good and I'd never make another memory with him again.

The next morning, I told Jax that if we could get SAMCRO and Gemma to help a bit, we could give Opie a better wedding. I had ideas that would involve getting help from a lot of others. I couldn't tell Opie that was my plan because I didn't know if they would help and I didn't want to promise them a wedding I couldn't make happen. Most of all, I needed to get Gemma on my side. If that meant I needed to kiss up to her, then I was going to kiss up to her. It was for Opie and Donna.

Jax called me to come to the clubhouse. Gemma was already there. I outlined my plan for Opie and Donna's wedding. The guys were surprisingly enthusiastic. It surprised me because I didn't think weddings and outlaw bikers went together, but maybe it was the brotherhood thing and they wanted to give their brother a nice wedding.

I called my father and was relieved when he told me he needed to spend most of the day with his band rehearsing the new set list. I was glad he was going to be busy because I needed to make plans with Gemma.

"Are you two going to be OK?" Jax asked Gemma and me.

"I left all my weapons in the car," Gemma said.

Jax kissed Gemma on the cheek and then me before heading out with the guys to do who knows what. Damn, he did look hot in his cut.

Jax had this sexy, dangerous quality that sucked me in even when my brain was shouting at me to run. And even when he got a little injured, he was sexy as hell. No one wore bruises and cuts like Jax.

That was the problem with Hallmark or Lifetime holiday movies. The guys were sort of geldings. They were neutered so they didn't try anything with the heroines. Those women were lucky to get a quick, chaste peck on the lips at the end. Boring. The MC guys were never boring.

Still, I was willing to take a cue from all those sweet holiday movies and go for a movie of my own—the one where everyone bands together for a common goal—giving Opie and Donna a wedding. If I left town and never came back, at least I would have done something good while I was here.

Gemma and I made a list of everything that needed to be done. She suggested I keep the list. Once we came up with how we were going to put a wedding space inside the clubhouse, the look of the wedding fell into place. I would make the cake and she would handle the beverages. We worked well together because we were focused on someone other than Jax.

Gemma gave me a ride home. When my father came home from band practice, I'd use his car to go grocery shopping for dinner. Jax was coming over and we were going to spend the evening with my father, but would spend the night at his Jax's place.

"Look, Tara, I want to make Opie's wedding nice, so I'm going to get along with you. You need to understand though that just because you love Jax and he loves you, it doesn't mean you are supposed to be together. You don't belong in Charming. You will never fit in this town."

I hate car conversation ambushes. You can't walk away. You are a prisoner and you either have to suck it up and take the blows or hit back.

"Gemma, cut the apron strings. He's an adult. He gets to make his own choices."

"If you try to get him to leave with you again, I might be cutting more than apron strings. And I don't mean him."

Gemma's hard brown eyes looked at me and I believed her.

She pulled into the driveway and stopped the car. I opened the door and got out. I leaned into the car.

"Relax, Gemma. I'm going to give you grandchildren. Won't that be nice?"

I slammed the car door and unlocked the front door. She was still sitting in the car when I closed the door behind me. I thought I had been pretty cool with Gemma. Inside, I was shaking, but I hadn't let Gemma see that.

 **Author's Note: OK, there's a new plan for this story. I'm going to try to post a new chapter every week until it's done. I have a lot in the Opie/Donna arc that I want to include and I can't project how long that section will be.**

 **I could wrap this story up in a chapter, but it wouldn't be the story that I want to tell. I don't know how many more chapters, but I think it could be a minimum of three and a max of five.**

 **I am going to write a chapter of Tara's Story and try to fit in another chapter of this story.**

 **I hope you will surprise me by reading and reviewing.**

 **M**


	7. Chapter 7

12

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 7 Words Fly Out**

Once again, I'd opened my mouth and words came out without any editing from my brain. When was I going to learn to think before speaking? I don't know why the hell I said that to Gemma except it was the meanest thing that came to mind.

Suddenly I realized that I was OK with what I'd said to Gemma. I was probably never coming back to Charming and it didn't matter what that bitch thought of me. I wanted to hurt her and make her crazy. She'd spent a lot of time making me miserable. And I had a back-up plan; I'd just deny that I'd said that to her. Jax had caught Gemma in plenty of lies.

I went to my room and got the recipe book that my aunt had made for me. On each of my birthdays, she would teach me a recipe, write it down and take a picture. The carrot cake recipe was from my fourteenth birthday. The cake had crushed pineapple and different kinds of spices in it. It's a really moist cake, so Donna made a good choice. I would make a filling of pineapple curd and use a cream cheese frosting for the outside and a butter cream for the decorations.

A cake for twenty people didn't have to be very big, but the cake freezes well, so making extra would be OK. I knew people would want to take some home. I'd made the cake before for SAMCRO and it was a big hit. I wanted the cake to look like a wedding cake with four tiers. The two top tiers were going to be foam. Most big wedding cakes use fake layers to keep the cake's weight down and to create size.

I made a list of everything I would need from the grocery store and another list of everything I would need to get at the local craft store. They carried cake decorating supplies. In addition to the styrofoam and pans, I would need food coloring. The grocery store liquid food color wouldn't work. I couldn't get the red color I wanted and the liquid could wreck the buttercream.

I was looking forward to cooking dinner. I hadn't done any cooking while I was at school. I lived in the dorm and ate at the cafeteria. Since I was making dinner for my father and Jax, I was making their favorite dinner, ribs, twice baked cheese potatoes and Southern style green beans with onions and bacon. For dessert, I cheated and used a brownie mix. I'd warm them a bit in the microwave before serving and topping them with ice cream and hot fudge sauce.

The brownies were finished and the ribs and potatoes were in the oven. I was just putting the pineapple curd for the wedding cake in a jar when Jax knocked. After I let him in, I had him taste the pineapple curd.

"Tell me what you think?" I said and handed him a spoon of the still warm pineapple curd.

"Good. Not too sweet. What's it for?"

"Between the layers of carrot cake."

"Sounds good. When is your father coming home?"

"In an hour," I said.

"Maybe we should go into your room and I can check your clothes and make sure you aren't going to have any problems with them."

"Subtle. You are some smooth talker, Jax Teller. Last night you talked me out of my clothes because you said there was a problem with them. We never did figure out what the problem was."

"The problem was you were wearing them. Now, give me a kiss."

I kissed him because I really wanted to and Jax was all freshly showered and shampooed and I loved the way he smelled.

I was in the library studying one day when I smelled that same scent. For an insane couple of moments, I thought Jax had come to San Diego for me. I even tracked down the source of the scent, just to make sure it wasn't Jax. For an even crazier few seconds, I thought about trying to date the guy. If he smelled like Jax, I could pretend it was Jax. I regained some of my sanity and returned to the reading for my chemistry class.

Jax wrapped his arms around me and kissed me long, hard and deep. He released me and caught me as I almost hit a cabinet.

"You can still kiss me dizzy," I said. (from Tara's Perfectly Imperfect Christmas).

"I get dizzy too; I just have better natural balance. If you're feeling dizzy, I should help you to your room. Will all your cooking be OK if we're gone for a couple of minutes?"

"Everything's in the oven and OK. I was hoping for longer than a few minutes. It won't matter if my father's home. We'll lock my door, not that he would come in."

He kissed me again and began backing me into my bedroom just like he did my first day back in Charming. It was already dark outside and my bedroom was cool because I'd switched off the heat again before I started cooking.

I just couldn't get enough of Jax. It was like a physical addiction. The world was a horrible place. During sex though, everything was right with the world and nothing mattered but the pleasure we were giving and sharing.

"How about if we leave a little early tonight, so I can give you the Jax Teller super premium sex experience?"

"What the hell?" I tugged on Jax's chin hair in mock anger. "You've been holding out on me! You can actually do sex _better_?"

"You'll find out tonight if we can leave a little early. And the super premium sex experience is for you _exclusively_."

"I'll think about . . ." I broke off as Jax kissed me. I forgot what I was saying.

Over dinner, we talked a bit about Opie and Donna's wedding. My father revealed that before they reinvented themselves as an 80's cover band, The Fire Ants played a couple of weddings. He still had some CDs they'd made. It would be perfect for the wedding. I'd let Donna and Opie listen to the CD so they could decide if they wanted to use it.

My father told us funny stories about his days as a wedding singer including one story where the bride and groom got into a fist fight during their first dance. My father was different with an audience meaning Jax. He was switched on, not as intensely as when he was singing, but he was definitely more outgoing.

I was again struck by how harshly I'd judged him in high school. With time and distance, I realized my unhappiness with myself and my nerdy awkwardness colored how I saw my father.

I still had some lingering resentment over his walking out on my mother and me and then never having any contact with me, but it was time to just move beyond it. He made mistakes. I made mistakes. It was just time to forgive.

We watched more Trailer Park boys DVDs, but we did go to Jax's place early where he gave me his Jax Teller super premium sex experience. It was definitely worth leaving early for. It was a wonderful, romantic and _leisurely_ experience.

"I have an idea," I said when Jax began showing signs of being ready to have sex again.

"Another clothing malfunction?"

"No. I wear your cut while we have sex."

Jax sucked in his breath sharply. He appeared dazed by my shocking suggestion shaking his head from side to side as if he couldn't believe what I'd just said.

"What did you say?"

"I wear your cut while we have sex."

"I'm not sure I can do that. It's pretty out there."

"Think about it."

"I'm going to have to think about that a lot. If I agreed—and I'm not saying that I am—it would have to stay a forever secret between us."

"I can do that."

"How about instead we start our own MC? Just the two of us. You're a prospect."

"Oh no, you don't. You want to play MC and make me a prospect so you can torture me the way you and Opie were tortured. No way. Besides, I don't know how to ride a bike and I don't have the big, strong muscles it takes to ride one like you do."

"True. You couldn't possibly learn to ride a motorcycle. You have problems with some of the simplest things in life like your clothes."

"Lucky for me you know how to take a girl's clothes off."

"I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't been able to unbutton your shirt last night. It could have choked you to death."

"You were so brave as you battled my buttons. So, what's it going to be? Can I wear your cut _and_ your reaper crew baseball cap?"

"Reaper crew cap forward or backward. If you answer correctly, I will allow you to wear my cut and cap."

"Backward because you can't read "reaper crew" if I wear it forward."

"Congratulations, you have answered correctly and I'll even let you be on top. Just take the gun out of the inside pocket of my cut."

Was the super premium Jax Teller sex experience better than me wearing the cut and cap on top? It was a tough call, so we decided we would have to repeat the experiment tomorrow night.

The next day, I drove Jax and me to Oakland and we hit an Ikea and a larger craft store. The small one in Charming didn't have everything I needed. I finished all the shopping that I needed to get done. It was so nice to get out of Charming for a little while.

For a couple of moments, I imagined a life for Jax and me outside of Charming. I knew it was just a dream. I didn't think Jax would ever leave Charming.

Donna and Opie got back from her grandparents early enough for us to go to the florist and order her wedding bouquet. Donna and Opie both loved Christmas. Gemma had put up two Christmas trees at the clubhouse and Donna wanted us to leave them up, which helped the budget because we wouldn't need flowers. We were just going to get a bouquet for Donna.

I wasn't sure how the florist was going to combine red and gold flowers, but she suggested she use sunflowers for the gold. Donna loved the idea and it only took us twenty minutes to get the bouquet ordered. The florist was closing early New Year's Eve, so I promised we would pick up the bouquet by noon.

I knew I would remember, but I still wrote it down on the paper that I had all the wedding preparations written down with names of the people responsible.

I took Donna back to Opie and Jax's place. I was surprised that Donna didn't stay. Opie took her home on his bike. Jax was putting a couple of things in a duffel bag to take to my father's house. He was going to stay with me for a couple of nights. Opie had been in the house less than ten minutes when Donna called Opie crying hysterically. Her parents were kicking her out of the house immediately.

"I've got to go to Donna's house," Opie said.

Every so often, I get a feeling that I should interfere in something that isn't any of my business. This was one of those times. It _usually_ worked out.

"Maybe we should go too," I said. I was worried about Opie's temper. "There might be boxes and we can put them in my father's car."

"OK," Opie said. "Good idea."

Jax and Opie rode their bikes giving me a bike escort to Donna's house.

She was in her bedroom crying, shaking and putting clothes into a garbage bag. Her seven year old sister looked on with wide hazel eyes. She looked scared.

"Donna, what can I help you do?"

She pointed to the closet and tried to speak but she kept sobbing and couldn't get out the words.

Opie put his arms around her and rubbed her back, trying to console her.

I left the clothes on the hanger and put them into a garbage bag. Jax began helping me. I saw through the bedroom window that her parents were outside on the patio. Her father was a short man with gray hair and pale, almost colorless blue eyes. He was smoking a cigarette. Her mother was a tall, thin woman with dark eyes.

I just didn't get how her parents could kick her out of the house when she was getting married and moving out in a few days. What could she have done that was so terrible?

"Can we leave some stuff and get it later or do we need to get everything now?" I asked.

Donna raised her head from Opie's chest.

"Ask them," she said.

"I'll do it," Opie said.

Opie left the bedroom.

"Go with him," I said to Jax.

I didn't want Opie to lose his temper and beat up her father. No matter how badly they treated Donna if Opie hit her father, he could get arrested. This was a bad situation that didn't need to be made any worse.

Jax nodded and followed Opie.

Donna shut her door.

"Excuse me," she said and I moved out of her way so she could get into her closet.

Donna opened a shoe box and took a cell phone hidden in a sneaker.

"You know about cell phones," she said to her sister. "This is going to be yours, but you have to keep it hidden."

Donna explained how to use the phone. She'd programmed in her cell phone number and made sure her sister knew how to call her. She also told her that if anything happens she was to call her and she'd come right away. The word "happens" seemed to have a special meaning to the sisters.

I couldn't figure out what the hell was happening at Donna's house, but I was going to find out because Donna and I were going wedding dress shopping tomorrow. Not only that, I was going to find a way to fix things.

I felt like it was my destiny.

 **Next Up: Tara will learn what's going on at Donna's house in either the next chapter or the one after.**

 **I'm not sure if I'm going to do another chapter for this story or do a short one for Jax Is Really Alive next.**

 _ **Not relevant, but who wouldn't want a Jax Teller super premium sex experience?**_


	8. Chapter 8

13

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 8 The Public School Experience**

At my father's house, we were each taking turns picking out a favorite Monty Python episode to watch. It took me awhile before I could quit thinking about the frightened look on Donna's sister's face when we left.

I couldn't completely put that image out of my mind until Jax and I went to my room, and he gave me the Jax Teller super premium sex experience. Later, he let me wear his cut and reaper crew baseball cap (backwards, of course). We still couldn't decide which one was better.

OK. That wasn't true. I loved the Jax Teller super premium sex experience more because it took longer. Wearing his cut against my bare skin was pretty hot too. These are the kind of problems I wanted and the kind of decisions I liked.

When I picked up Donna at Opie's the next morning, I was surprised there was a bed pillow and a folded blanket on the couch. Just another mystery for me to solve.

Jax asked me to stop by TM before we left to go shopping; he wanted to talk to Donna. I gave them privacy and checked out the clubhouse. I wanted to visualize the layout for the wedding again.

Gemma was there working on the aisle runner that she was making from a painter's drop cloth. I told her the names and colors of the flowers in Donna's bouquet. She was going to get Gizmo (he's the tech whiz from Tara's Story) to pull up pictures of the flowers and use some photo magic to make them look like they were hand-painted.

She was then going to decoupage them onto the drop cloth and seal them with a matte clear coating. It was practically free and it would make the clubhouse really seem like a wedding venue when we finished everything.

Donna and Jax were still talking, so I waited by the car. Jax looked at me and signaled me to come over. Donna was holding a wad of cash in her hand. She looked uncertain and uncomfortable.

"Jax gave me money for my wedding dress," Donna said. "I don't know if I should take it."

"It's a wedding gift," Jax said.

"Donna, when a man gives you money for shopping, you take it and say thank you. Oh, and then you spend it."

Donna nodded.

"Thank you, Jax."

Jax smiled at me.

"You need to kiss me good-bye," he said.

"Donna, see how bossy they get? Here's what you do when that happens." I kissed Jax and took a tiny nip out of his lower lip.

"Ouch!"

"Quit being a baby. It was only a tiny bite. There isn't even any blood."

Donna giggled.

"You are going to pay for that later," Jax promised.

"That's what I'm hoping for, _baby_."

Donna and I climbed into the Cutlass and headed out of Charming. I suggested to Donna that we go to the nearby outlet mall. It had a couple of bridal stores there and we should be able to find something. Donna didn't have time to be picky. Her wedding was only two days away.

"We're about the same age," I said. "We had to have gone to high school together. I've been driving myself crazy trying to remember you."

"I didn't go to Charming High. I was home schooled."

"Just high school or always?"

"I went to kindergarten and first grade. I was home schooled after that."

"That's one way of escaping the misery of high school."

"I missed out on a lot," Donna said and there was bitterness in her voice.

I couldn't blame her. As awful as high school felt, it wasn't all bad. If I had been home schooled, I probably would have been just as miserable. It was just a phase that I was going through. It was normal. I just didn't realize it at the time.

"How did you meet Opie?" I asked. "Jax and I met in high school. He was my lab partner for biology."

"About a year ago, I got a job at Donny's Hamburgers. Opie and Jax came in a lot. I usually worked the counter. After many weeks, I was taking my meal break in the dining area when Opie asked if he could sit with me. Jax wasn't with him. I told him he could. I think it was the first time a boy talked to me. I mean other than at work."

"What happened next? Did he ask you out then?"

Donna shook her head.

"No. He would just come in and sit with me sometimes when I was on my meal break. One time, I mentioned walking home. It was going to be late. He offered me a ride home, but I wasn't sure. I didn't really know him and he had his motorcycle. I finally agreed. He came back when my shift was over and gave me a ride home. He even put his helmet on me."

"How did you like the bike?"

Donna smiled.

"I thought it would be scary, but it wasn't. I loved it. I felt so free. Opie would drop by work and give me a ride home sometimes. I just thought he was being nice. I didn't think he thought of me as anything more than a friend."

"I know that feeling. I had the same situation with Jax."

"Finally, he suggested we meet up when I wasn't working. He didn't use the word date, so I didn't think of it as a date. We have been together ever since."

"When I was in high school, Opie never had a girlfriend for longer than four or five weeks. I think he knew what he wanted. Once he figured out the girl wasn't right he ended it. I think Opie knew you were the one for him and he sensed he needed to go slow with you. It reminds me so much of Jax and me except Jax didn't have girlfriends. He had hook-ups and it was usually one and done."

"My parents don't like him," she blurted out unexpectedly.

"Gemma hates me."

"We really do have a lot in common," Donna said, chewing on her lip. I stayed silent. I was sure she was working up the courage to tell me something. I really wanted to fix whatever was wrong with her and her family. I was young enough and inexperienced enough to believe I could actually do that successfully.

"When Opie and I got engaged, my parents told me I could either break up with Opie or get out. They said I was a disobedient daughter and they would not have me under their roof. They said I was a bad influence on Sophie—that's my sister."

"Is that why they kicked you out last night?"

Donna nodded.

"When I told Opie what happened with my parents, he said we would just get married now. We originally planned on getting married in a few months. I was only going to live at home for a few days and they seemed OK with it and then suddenly last night, they told me to leave."

My father was looking better and better. He would never do anything that heartless to me. Most parents wouldn't be that cruel to their kids. Donna really had horrible parents.

"Maybe they will come around. Are they coming to the wedding?"

She shook her head, her eyes full of tears.

"No. They won't even let my sister come."

Whatever was going on with Donna and her parents, it was more than their not liking Opie. I could just feel there was something more that was going on.

"What about your grandparents? Will they be at the wedding?"

"They are going to come for the wedding. Piney asked them to stay with him. They are even giving us a honeymoon. We're driving to San Francisco after the wedding. They have a neighbor who used to have a travel agency and she's helping find the hotels and everything.

"After that we're flying to Southern California and going to Disneyland, Knott's Berry Farm and Universal Studio Tours. Neither of us has ever been. My grandparents are paying for everything."

"That sounds like a lot of fun. I'm glad your grandparents are being supportive."

"They are really kind and loving. I don't know what they did that messed up my dad."

"That's what everyone wonders, but sometimes it's just individual choice. Some people just aren't very good. My paternal grandparents never even met me. I'm their only grandchild and they couldn't be bothered."

"I think that's what will happen when Opie and I have kids. They won't even want to see them."

"Are you planning a baby right away?"

"No, we're going to wait a couple of years. We want to just enjoy being married to each other for awhile."

"I wish there were something I could do to help you with your parents—to make you feel better."

"You are putting together my wedding. When Opie told me that, it made me feel a lot better. I really wanted a wedding, but Opie was already being so great when he said we should just get married right away, I didn't want to ask for anything more."

"That's what Opie said to Jax and then Jax asked me to figure out a wedding. A lot of SAMCRO are helping. Gemma's helping too."

"That's typical of Opie. I He is really thoughtful and kind. I never thought I would fall in love and then Opie walked into my life. Whenever I would catch a glimpse of him or he would walk into Donny's, my heart would beat fast, my face would turn red and I felt this rush of intense happiness. He may be my first boyfriend, but he's my true love."

Donna was so sweet and so in love. I hoped that she would always be happy with Opie. I wanted them to get that fairy tale happily ever after ending.

"Jax was my first boyfriend too."

"When you left, he changed. In a group, he was the same, but when he was just with Opie and me, he seemed sort of haunted. He really missed you."

"Haunted is a good way to put it. Sometimes at school, I would get a glimpse of bright blonde hair; my heart would be faster and I'd think maybe it was Jax. I knew that was a crazy way to think, but love isn't logical."

"Jax is so much happier with you here."

I didn't want to think about that. I couldn't think about what it was going to be like to tell him that I was leaving for good. I didn't think I could bear to do it again. Maybe I wouldn't leave at all.

I changed the topic and we talked wedding dresses for the half hour we had left on the drive to the outlet mall. From color to silhouette to material, we talked about it all. I was thankful for the diversion.

I was glad that Donna had made some decisions on the type of wedding dress she wanted. She didn't want the big princess ball gown. Smart decision. I couldn't imagine a ball gown in the clubhouse even with all our efforts to transform it into a wedding venue.

When you buy a wedding dress at an outlet store, you don't get a TV show caliber experience. There is no bridal consultant that asks about your fiancé. There are a bunch of racks of dresses organized by size, style and price. You help yourself and if you're lucky they have private dressing rooms. If it's a really bargain basement experience, everyone undresses in one big room. That's how you shop for a dress when you need to stretch your money as far as possible and you don't want to pay for all the frills that make the dress cost ten times what it's worth.

"I know you want a mermaid shape wedding dress, but why don't we try a few different styles just so it confirms your choice."

"That's a good idea, Tara. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Donna, you're a smart girl. You would figure it out."

Donna nodded and smiled shyly.

I felt sorry for Donna. I was at least confident that I was smart. That's what school gave me. Donna never had that.

As nerdy, awkward and geeky as I felt in high school, I'd grown out of it. I saw myself in Donna and I wanted to help her, so she wouldn't suffer as much as I had. I didn't feel superior to her. I just felt a lot older.

My desire to help her wasn't out of pity or a belief that I was better. I knew how she felt and I wanted to make it better. I had this deep desire and need to fix people. That's why I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to fix people that were broken.

We picked out several dresses and went into the large community dressing room. There was a woman trying on dresses with a friend helping her.

"I don't feel really comfortable taking off my clothes."

Yet another thing that going to school had taught me. I could change my clothes in front of girls without embarrassment.

"I can hold up the dresses and kind of screen you or we can go to another store and they might have more private dressing rooms. I keep forgetting that you didn't go to school. In 7th grade, we started having to change clothes for P.E. and it was in a locker room. The teacher was really creepy too. She would make us take a shower and watch us. Suddenly, I'm feeling traumatized."

"That's horrible," Donna said and shuddered.

"I got over it and I got stronger. You didn't have the public school experience. I was shy and awkward the first couple of times and then I just got over it. Never got over the creepy teacher watching, but life isn't perfect. If you want to leave, it's OK. I want you to enjoy wedding dress shopping."

"If you hold the clothes up and kind of screen me, I'll try on that first mermaid dress."

I put the mermaid dress on a hook in the wall and then I held up the dresses, screening her. I had my back to her to give her maximum privacy.

The two women left the dressing room, so we were alone.

"OK," Donna said.

I turned around and tried not to gasp. Donna's arms were covered in fresh bruises. I could even see the finger marks.

I'd been right. There was more to Donna's story than parents that hated her choice of a husband. Someone was physical abusing her. I was certain that it wasn't Opie. He had a hot temper, but I didn't think he would hurt a woman.

"I'm just really clumsy," Donna said. "I think I should get a dress with sleeves."

I nodded. This wasn't the place for the conversation I needed to have with her, but there was no mistake; I was going to find out who was physically abusing her and I was going to stop it.

 _Author's Note: The longer it takes me to write this story, the longer the story gets. I'm kind of racing myself to get it finished before it ends up being a hugely long story. I'm still unsure if I'm going to do another chapter of this story or do a chapter for Jax Is Really Alive. I do know that in an upcoming chapter of this story, Tara is going to have to distract Jax again by taking off her clothes. She's going to need an emergency bra extraction and she needs Jax's help because front hook bras are so confusing._

 _I just realized that I should have set this story in June and had Tara come home for a couple of weeks for summer vacation. If only I'd been smart and done this, I wouldn't feel as pressured to get this story wrapped up. Screw it. It takes as long as it takes. This story isn't really a Christmas story. That was just the reason Tara returned to Charming._

 _And there's going to be such a sweet wedding and Jax and Tara continue to have playful conversations and fun. And it has a happy ending._


	9. Chapter 9

17

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 9** _ **It's How Big?**_

 **Author's Note I usually change my cover image with every chapter. This cover is supposed to be Tara's bride's maid dress and you can see her purple hair. It also marks a switch from Christmas themed covers to wedding themed covers. This isn't really a story about Christmas. It's a story about Tara's returning to Charming for a visit.**

"Tara could you help with the zipper?"

I took the dresses I was holding as a screen for Donna and hung then on a hook, so I could help Donna with her dress.

"That dress is huge on you," I said.

"I think it fits," Donna said.

"That style of dress is supposed to hug your curves. It's just hanging off you. I'm going to go out and get a smaller size. I'll be right back."

I went out and grabbed a couple of dresses in smaller sizes. Donna put the smaller dress on. She looked at herself in one of the long mirrors that were hanging inside the communal dressing room.

The white long-sleeved mermaid style taffeta gown was simple and plain without a bead or sequin in sight. It just looked like whoever designed it just gave up. From the fabric to the lack of trim, this dress was a disaster.

"I see what you mean about the fit. This one really hugs my body. I don't think I like the shape of the dress. I don't like the way my hips look."

"Donna, you have a great body. You can wear any style dress. You just have to decide how you want to look. Do you want something sexy or something sweet?"

"I can't see myself wearing something sexy. I just want to look nice for Opie."

"Opie loves you so much, it won't matter what you wear. I've never seen him so happy around a girl before. His eyes light up when he sees you."

"The same way Jax looks when he sees you," Donna added.

"I'm going to grab a couple of more dresses while you try on the next dress."

No one was in the dressing room, so Donna didn't need me to screen her. I decided I needed to shake things up, so I picked the most ridiculous dresses, one with feathers, one covered in sequins and one with silk flowers. When I brought the dresses to Donna, her eyes widened.

"I have this idea. I think it's great, but I think all my ideas are great. I'll take pictures of you trying on all kinds of dresses, so you can have a slide show that shows your hunt for a wedding dress and the last picture will be the one you picked."

"That is a great idea," Donna said. She gave me an unexpected hug. "I wasn't going to have any bride's maids, but I would really love it if you would be my bride's maid."

"I'd be honored."

"That's why it's called the maid of honor," Donna said and we both laughed.

"You don't have to wear an ugly bride's maid dress. I don't care what you wear or what color you wear. I just really want you there beside me."

"My father sings in an 80's cover band. After your wedding, Jax and I are going to his show. I was thinking about getting a dress for that since I don't have anything to wear. I was thinking something a really deep red."

"My mother says that red is Satan's color."

"That's why you picked red as one of your colors."

Donna nodded, smiling ear to ear.

"That's right."

I felt sorry for Donna. That small rebellion in choosing red as a wedding color probably didn't happen often. I was glad Opie found her and I was glad that I could help her with her wedding. She deserved a great wedding day.

I used my phone to take pictures of the six wedding dresses she tried on. By having her try on crazy, completely, horrible dresses, it broke the ice. She became enthusiastic about dress shopping.

We went to another store. Eight dresses later, she still hadn't found the right dress, but she was closing in on what kind of dress she wanted.

I insisted on taking her to lunch. We needed a break and there was a great Mexican restaurant in the outlet mall. We could do a lot of talking over chips and salsa.

"At that last place, the sales lady told me that you can get these lace stretch shirt-like things with sleeves that go under your dress, so you can wear a strapless dress and still have your arms covered. That gives you a lot more dress choices."

"That's great news. There just aren't many dresses with long sleeves."

"How did you get your bruises?"

Donna paused in the middle of scooping up salsa with her tortilla chip. It took her a couple of seconds to come up with an answer.

"I'm clumsy. I bump into things a lot."

"I'm clumsy too, but I've never had bruises in those places."

She couldn't meet my eyes. She was a terrible liar. She ate her chip still staring at the table.

I didn't think she would suddenly tell me who hurt her. I wanted to get her thinking about telling me. I was going to do the car ambush. She would have no way to escape and I was going to get the truth out of her.

"My father's band used to sing at weddings. I've got a CD. If you like the music, I thought we could play it at the wedding for your first dance."

"I didn't know there was going to be a first dance."

"If you don't want a first dance, I can just scrap the plan."

"I think it would be nice. I don't know how to dance though."

"Tonight after we get back from dinner with the guys, Opie can teach you and I'll step on Jax's feet."

"Don't you know how to dance either?"

"Oh, I know how to dance. I just like to step on Jax's feet for fun."

Donna laughed.

"I love watching you two together. You seem so perfect for each other. You ever think about getting married?"

"Not in the near future."

I thought about Donna's life. She would marry Opie and settle down to life and a low paying job in Charming because there were few well paying jobs in town for someone without a college education. Her life began and it would end in Charming.

If I moved to Charming before I finished school, my life would likely be the same as Donna's. Was I ready to spend the rest of my life in Charming or live the rest of my life without Jax?

We ordered our food and drank our wonderful tropical iced teas.

"This is kind of awkward . . ." Donna was looking down at her iced tea glass. "Opie's been with girls before. I know Jax has too. How do you handle knowing you weren't his first?"

"Is Opie your first?"

Donna nodded.

"First everything."

"It took quite awhile before Jax and I got together. It felt like forever. He used to kiss girls in the hallway between classes."

"What did you think of that? Were you jealous or hurt?"

"At first, I just shrugged it off. When we finally got together romantically, I never really thought of him with other girls. He could have had any girl in school. He picked me and he stayed with me."

"You never think about it?"

"While I was at SAMCRO's Christmas brunch, Gemma told me that Jax had had sex with hundreds of girls while I've been gone."

"It wasn't that many," Donna said quickly. "Why would she do that?"

"Gemma hates me. She doesn't like it that Jax and I are together. She thinks if she's nasty enough to me, I'll quit seeing Jax. She's discovered that doesn't work, so now she's mean to me for her own enjoyment. Once she hurts you, she knows where to aim her verbal darts. I try never to let her see her words hurt me."

"How do you handle knowing that Jax was with other girls?"

"If Jax hadn't been with other girls, I would be worried that he would be curious about what it would be like with another girl."

"How did you feel about what she said?"

"Jax and I weren't together. I didn't think I would ever come back to Charming, so he went on with his life."

"It hurts me when I think of Opie being with other girls."

"Opie was never in love with any of his girlfriends. You are the only one he's been in love with and he's marrying you."

"I know, but it still hurts."

"Donna, Opie can't change his past. You are just going to have to get over it. Jax told me that when you love a girl it feels different. He said that sex without love is like eating food without seasoning. It's better than nothing."

"He really said that?"

"Yeah, I cook a lot, so he made a cooking comparison."

"You never feel jealous?"

"Jax makes me feel sexy, confident and secure. I think Opie will do the same for you. It's just going to take a little time."

"I love him so much. I just don't want to disappoint him."

"Just talk to Opie honestly. I did that and it helped a lot. He and I were bumping heads a bit until we worked out custody of Jax. I got custody, but he got generous visitation rights."

Donna laughed.

"I get that. I've had the same feeling sometimes. It took me a little time to quit feeling so awkward around Jax."

"Just be patient with yourself. I always expect so much of myself and I'm always disappointed. You don't want to be like that. I'm working on changing."

"Thanks, Tara. I don't know what I would do without you. Am I taking you away from anything? Did you have plans with your father that I'm spoiling?"

I shook my head.

"My father is busy rehearsing for his New Year's Eve show. It's a big booking for his group. He's even giving Jax and me the suite he's getting as a perk for performing."

"Your father knows you and Jax are having sex?"

"My father lets him spend the night in my room. He has since high school. He's a very different parent."

"My parents are the exact opposite. They are ultra strict."

"I've always focused on my father's flaws, but going away has helped me gain perspective and hearing about your situation with your parents has also helped. I just don't understand how your parents could kick you out of the house a few days before your wedding."

"I lived under their roof. They have the right to make the rules," Donna said with a shrug.

"They may have the right to make rules, but you're their child and they could have shown you some compassion."

"I guess," Donna said doubtfully.

"I hope you and your family can reconcile."

"I don't think that will ever happen. I'll have to sneak to see my sister."

"This is all because your parents don't like you marrying Opie."

"It's part marrying Opie and part disobedience."

"Don't you think that with time, they'll get over it especially if they see how happy you and Opie are together?"

"It doesn't matter how happy Opie makes me. I'm disobeying them. This is a big deal to them and it's unforgivable."

"If they see that Opie is a good husband, will that change their mind?"

Donna shook her head.

"It's always going to come back to me defying them."

"They knew you were dating him. Was that OK?"

"They didn't like me dating him, but they thought that he would dump me. He would break my heart and then I would, yet again, see how right they are about everything."

"You must love Opie a lot to go against your parents."

"Opie is worth everything to me. It isn't just because he's the first guy that's ever paid attention to me either."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Just because he's your first love, it doesn't mean that it isn't love that you're feeling or you fell in love with him because he just happened to be around."

Our meals arrived. Donna got a chicken enchilada and a carnitas tamale with rice and beans. I got shredded beef flautas with rice and beans. I've always found Mexican food to be comfort food. I think it's because it's cooked for me, so there's no slicing, dicing and working over a hot stove. I get to just sit back and eat without having to clean up.

Donna was nervously picking at her tamale. I think the mix of wedding and family pressure was getting to her. It would have gotten to me.

"Opie and I aren't sleeping together. We're waiting until we're married."

Knowing how much Opie got around before Donna, I was a little surprised. Even with strict parents, if Donna and Opie had wanted to have sex, they could have found a way.

"That's really sweet," I said.

"I don't know very much about sex."

I didn't say it. I just thought it. Opie knew more than enough for the both of them.

"You'll figure it out."

"Do you think I should get some kind of special nightgown or something? What do you wear?"

"Usually a long T-shirt or leggings and a T-shirt. Jax loves it when I wear one of his SAMCRO T-shirts. I've taken a couple of them."

I stole a T-shirt that Jax wore before we broke up. I kept it in a sealed plastic bag. I used to take it out and smell it sometimes when I was feeling especially emotionally needy when I was in San Diego. There were a few times when I would put on the T-shirt and cry. Crazy, pathetic and sad. That's me in a sentence.

"I have loose pajamas. Do you think that would be OK?"

"It sounds fine. I could get you a SAMCRO T-shirt. You could surprise Opie and he would love it."

"How short is it?"

"On me it's about knee length, so it will be a bit longer on you."

"That would be perfect. Thanks."

I got out my wedding list and added it. I wanted to make sure that I didn't forget a thing.

"Is there anything I should know before Opie and I . . ." Donna's voice trailed off and her face was red with embarrassment.

"Have you ever read a romance novel?"

"No."

"Romance novels don't really provide an accurate view of sex, so at least you don't have bad info. You and Opie will figure out everything together."

"Is that what you and Jax did?"

I nodded.

"You don't need to know anything. Guys like being the teacher when it comes to sex."

"What a relief! I've been so worried that I would do something wrong and Opie would be sorry that we waited until marriage."

"Opie loves you. He isn't going to be unhappy with sex and regret marriage. Sex is something the two of you discover together. It's a journey."

Donna finally began to eat her lunch.

Her questions about sex made me think about my relationship with Jax. I couldn't imagine a relationship with Jax that didn't involve sex. I made him wait. I made him work to get me just as Hale advised. Once we started having sex, it kicked our relationship up to a level I never knew existed. He became my addiction.

I've read the romances where a man and a woman love each other deeply with soul searing intensity and go through all kinds of hell to get back to each other, all the while the relationship is so pure that they don't even exchange a kiss. Maybe that could happen. Anything can happen in books. That wasn't my relationship with Jax.

Would our love have been strong enough to stand the test of time without sex? Now that the question occurred to me, I was driving myself crazy wondering about the answer. That was one of my biggest problems—overthinking everything. Being smart isn't always an advantage. I think it's more of a curse.

That addiction to Jax was stirring in my blood and I started to think about having sex with him. I wondered where he was and if he could get away for a little while this afternoon. Jax could always bring out my very well hidden sexy side.

I decided to send Jax a text telling him that I wanted to have sex with him. A few seconds later I added in the trunk of my father's car. Jax never missed a beat. He asked me where I was. He was just that kind of a boyfriend. I told him and he told me to text him when I got back to Charming and he would help me with my trunk problem.

I was daydreaming about Jax and me in the trunk of my father's car. I wanted the trunk semi-closed meaning it would be almost closed, but for safety it would be fixed so we couldn't get locked in.

"Tara, Tara," Donna was calling my name.

I was still imagining Jax and me in the trunk of my father's car.

"Sorry," I said. "What were you saying?"

"Is there anything about sex that you wished you knew before you and Jax were together?"

"You know how big a tampon is?"

"Yes. I've never used them. My mother said they steal your virginity."

Donna's mother sounded like a real prize.

"A penis is bigger," I said.

"It's how big?"

When I told Donna, I thought she was going to pass out and then cancel the wedding. She blanched and her hand shook as she lifted it to take a sip of iced tea.

I felt sorry for her. It was going to be a rough wedding night.

 **Author's Note: Check out my story Sammie the Crow-eater's Big Surprise. It's an early April Fool's Day Story. I do something every year. Last year, I wrote a fake ending chapter for Jax Is Really Alive. I also started 52 Shades of Jax on April 1. I may try to do a short chapter for it's anniversary on April 1.**

 **I haven't decided if I will do a short Tara's Story chapter or do another chapter for this story so I can get it completed.**

 **I think I've finally decided to be OK with the fact this story is a longer story than I planned. Sometimes when you write, a story takes on a life of its own. Usually that's a good thing. That's what happened here. Opie and Donna decided to get married. It was exactly what the story needed. I'm still about three chapters or maybe four away from the happy ending and the wedding's going to be so sweet with little sweet surprises it will be sweeter than all the Hallmark Christmas movies I punished myself by watching.**

 **I don't want to rush this story because it shows another facet of the Jax/Tara relationship. This version of Tara isn't the Tara's Story version. This Tara is a little more mature. It also shows the Donna/Opie relationship.**

 **When I thought about doing a Christmas story, I tried to see if there were enough reader interest for the story. I received an underwhelming but enthusiastic response. I didn't want to write a story if there wasn't an audience. Finally, thanks to this small band of readers, I started this story. If you have enjoyed this story, it's thanks to this small but enthusiastic group of readers who wanted me to write this story. It's readership has greatly exceeded my expectations.**


	10. Chapter 10

12

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 10 Trunk Full of Trouble**

After lunch, Donna and I went into a craft shop two doors down from the restaurant. She was so excited when she found the perfect wedding cake topper. It was a bride and groom on a motorcycle with a "Just Married" sign on the back. The bride was blonde, the groom had black hair and the bride's bouquet was all red flowers.

With a few minutes and some craft paint, Donna was going to paint the cake topper so the bride and groom would become brunettes and the bouquet would have yellow and white flowers along with the red flowers to mimic her bouquet. She would get me the cake topper sometime tomorrow.

We went into the third wedding dress shop and pulled seven dresses for Donna to try on. This was a little more upscale because they had private dressing rooms. I took pictures of all the dresses for the slide show I was going to do. I was even going to try to sync it with one of my father's songs on his wedding CD. I had so much to do; it was beginning to be overwhelming.

Donna was having a terrible time. She couldn't figure out what she wanted. She tried on a satin dress with a big bow in the back.

"I think this could be it," she said looking at herself in the mirror.

I was in the dressing room because I had to help with the zipper. I studied her reflection.

"Tell me the truth, Tara."

"OK." Despite her words, I hesitated before deciding to tell her the truth. "It's a wedding dress and it fits your body perfectly, but it doesn't seem to fit who you are. I don't know you very well. I'm probably wrong. I just think this is not unique enough for you."

"Thanks. It fits. I really want to love it. You're right though. It isn't who I am."

"Give me a couple of minutes and I'll get you a couple of dresses."

I unzipped her before I went out to battle the wedding dresses. This time I picked five dresses completely different from the ones Donna had tried on. Two were all lace, two were strapless and one was that weird hi-low look. There was just something about that dress that drew me to it.

Donna put the weird dress on first. The hem in front hit mid-calf, so it wasn't a too high low where the dress is thigh high in the front and floor length in the back like a mullet haircut. It was higher in the middle and then got progressively longer, so it almost looked like someone was lifting it up in the middle. It had soft gathers at the waist and long lace sleeves with a sweetheart neckline. The color was a creamy white. Donna looked breathtaking in it.

"Perfect," she whispered looking at herself in the mirror.

" _Beautiful_ and perfect."

"I never would have picked it, but it's different. I've never seen a dress like this."

"I've seen dresses with a big difference in length from the front and back, but I've never seen a dress like this one. The color is just magical with your skin tone."

"I love the way it feels when I move."

"It's going to be great for dancing."

"I'm so excited and happy. Tara, you have been so wonderful to me."

"Donna, you are easy to be kind to. While you change, I'm going to go look for a dress. Oops, I almost forgot to take your picture for the slide show."

I took several quick pictures with my phone. Donna was actually glowing, she was so happy.

I knew exactly what I wanted—a strapless A-line dress with a bit of a skirt and about the same length as Donna's dress was at its shortest point. I found three dresses that would work. The second dress was perfect. It was chiffon with layers to the skirt each layer a slightly different shade of red so it would move creating a really interesting effect when I danced with Jax. It also wasn't so flashy that it would upstage Donna, not that I would have been able to do that. Donna was so beautiful in that dress, Opie wouldn't be able to take his eyes off her.

"Is this dress OK with you?" I asked Donna. I had invited her into the dressing room with me to get her opinion. "I'm going to get one of those lace topper things so it isn't strapless. There are some that match the color of this dress. I checked. When Jax and I go to my father's concert, I'm going to take off the topper so it's strapless."

"That dress looks great on you. The length is perfect."

"Do you think it clashes with my hair color?"

I looked at my reflection unable to decide if the red went with my purple hair or clashed with it.

"I love your hair with the dress," Donna said. "I wish I had the courage to try purple hair."

"It wasn't courage," I admitted. "It was a hair color error. It was supposed to be plum red instead of plum purple. When I washed out the color and saw my new hair color, I wanted to cry. I was stuck. I didn't have any more hair color or a car to drive to get more hair color."

"I think it looks really cool. It gives you kind of a cool edge."

Sadly, Donna was probably the only person who ever thought of me as cool. I found myself wanting to be cool so I didn't let her down. The only problem was I had no idea how to be cool. Maybe Jax could give me lessons after we had sex in the trunk of my father's car.

Donna wanted to wear a veil. That was my favorite part of the whole wedding dress. There was just something about the veil that I loved. She decided she would wear her hair in the classic half-up, half-down style which would be a nice accompaniment with her half-up, half-down gown.

We found a pretty pearl encrusted comb that could have a veil attached to it. She would tuck the comb into the elastic of her half up hair style and the veil would flow from there. She picked a simple tulle veil that matched her wedding dress color perfectly and was a little shorter than her dress.

"Your shoes are going to show. Do you have shoes?"

"I hadn't thought about that. I don't really have shoes. I have tennis shoes, but they won't work."

"You could do a pump or a strappy sandal or ballet flats."

"What do you think about ballet flats that are red?"

"Your bouquet has some red flowers and you could do a red lip. Maybe blot it a lot so it's a stain kind of like my lips and do a bit of mascara. Those three points of color, your lips, your bouquet and your shoes will really tie the look together."

"That sounds perfect."

"I was also thinking that I would get a sparkly sash-belt thing and you could wear it at the wedding for something borrowed and I'd wear it at my father's concert."

"I love that idea."

Donna and I found shoes. Hers had delicate straps that crossed at the ankles. Mine were red flats with petals sewn onto the shoes with a little red bead. They were almost the same color as Donna's. Best of all, the shoes were comfortable. I don't believe in wearing uncomfortable shoes for the sake of fashion.

I found a beautiful rhinestone slide that would look equally beautiful with Donna's wedding dress and my red dress. It was made so different colored ribbons could be threaded through it. I could even wear it in my hair. The belt came with three metallic ribbons one white, one black and one red.

I didn't really think a lot about marriage because I'd never seen one. My parents divorced when I was so little I had few memories of their marriage.

I did sort of like the ceremony and tradition of it all. I was glad Donna and Opie had decided to celebrate their marriage with a wedding instead of eloping.

We did one last bit of shopping for luggage. Donna had never been on any kind of overnight trip, so she'd never needed luggage. She found a cute three piece set that was a bright blue. It would be easy to spot on the airport baggage carousel.

We were only a few miles outside of the outlet mall when I ambushed Donna. I had debated about telling Opie that something was going on with Donna that he needed to talk to her about it, but if Donna thought she could talk to Opie about whatever was going on, she would have done it. Sometimes, it's just easier to talk girl to girl.

I told Donna that she needed to protect her sister from whatever was going on at her house that caused the bruises on her arms. Those were the magic words. She wouldn't say anything to save herself, but she would talk to save her sister. She spilled years' worth of secrets. I think she needed to tell someone and I can be a great listener.

As she talked, I formulated a plan. I might not know what I was going to do with my life or about my future with Jax, but I was positive I could fix Donna's family problems.

I outlined my plan to Donna. She wasn't very receptive. That didn't surprise me. If the solution had been an easy fix, she would have thought of it by now.

My plan would take some backbone. Donna would have to speak up and stand up for her sister. Her sister was the leverage. If anything could get her to talk, that would be it.

I dropped off Donna at Opie and Jax's along with the luggage and the cake topper. Everything else I brought to my father's house and put in the front closet. Jax was spending the next two nights with me and I didn't want him to see the wedding stuff if he looked in my closet.

My father left me a note telling me he and his band got a last minute gig at a guy's birthday party in Charming. He wouldn't be back until around ten. Jax and I had the house and the car trunk all to ourselves. I called Jax and he told me he was on his way.

My addiction to Jax felt like it was growing. I craved him. I had seen plenty of hot guys at UCSD (University of California at San Diego). I talked to a few and even went on a couple of dates. I never felt the slightest spark of attraction. With Jax I didn't just feel a spark of attraction; I felt an inferno.

I pounced on him the moment he walked through the door. I didn't even take time to lock the door behind him.

"Are you sure you don't want to have sex in a nice soft bed?" Jax asked me when he finally managed to pull his lips from mine.

"Trunk," I said.

I grabbed my keys and Jax's hand and we headed into the garage. I unlocked the trunk and left my keys in the lock.

Jax wrapped his arms around me and kissed me.

"You are driving me crazy," he said. "Since I got your text, all I can think about is you and having sex with you."

"Me too. I think I love you too much."

"You can't love someone too much."

The trunk was empty with the exception of the spare tire in the very back of the trunk and a blanket covering the rest of the trunk. Climbing into the trunk was easier in my imagination, but I managed to get into the trunk.

"You have something so we don't get locked in?"

"I have a piece of cardboard," Jax said.

What a great guy! I wonder how many guys would agree to sex in the trunk of a car? Jax didn't waste any time getting over here after I called him. He was as into this as I was.

I moved over so Jax could climb in. Once he was inside the trunk, he lowered the trunk's lid and used the cardboard to keep the door from closing completely. The slight opening of the trunk provided very little light because the garage door was down.

We were in this confined space and for some reason, it was really working for me sexually. I had no idea why, I just knew that I was really enjoying the experience. Jax helped me slide my leggings and panties down to my ankles.

Next, he reached between us to unzip his fly. The shift in his position caused him to hit the lid of the trunk with his back. It popped open. He reached up to close it only the cardboard must have fallen because there was a click.

"No!" I yelled.

Jax hit the trunk lid but it didn't move. We were locked in.

"You still want to have sex?" Jax asked.

Not only were we locked in the trunk; I just discovered I was claustrophobic. There wasn't enough air. I couldn't breath. We were going to suffocate.

Even if we managed to make it out of the trunk alive, the humiliation and embarrassment would kill me. And all my pent up sexual desire was gone replaced by terror.

 **Next Up for Me**

I am going to do a chapter of **Jax Is Really Alive**. It's looking bad for Tara, someone else returns from the dead, Nero makes an appearance and there's a big plot development.

Check out **Sammy's Big Surprise**. It's a very short completed story and it's funny. I also did another chapter of **52 Shades of Jax.** It turnsout Tara's more than a car trunk sex freak. Who knew Jax had sexual limits? I also posted another chapter to **Tara's Story**.

After I write the next **Jax Is Really Alive** chapter, I will do another chapter for this story. Now that I've faced reality and decided to let this story take whatever time it takes, I'm adding in some details like the trunk, like the reaper bakery scene (upcoming) to flesh out this story. It shows Donna and Opie's love story via Tara, but it also shows a different Tara. She's more mature than the Tara in **Tara's Story**. It also shows a side to Tara and Jax's relationship that hasn't been seen before—the love and passion they have for each other. It's a chance to see that Tara's desire for Jax is as great as his. And of course, there's the happy ending.


	11. Chapter 11

4

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 11 Locked**

For one of the few times in my life, I lost it. I was scared, I couldn't breathe and I no longer understood why the hell I had ever wanted to have sex in the trunk of my father's car. How could I have not seen that was going to end badly?

"I can't breathe. We're going to die in here," I said. I was trying to breathe, but there wasn't enough air in the trunk and Jax was on top of me and that didn't help. "Could you move off me?"

"Is that better?" he asked moving closer to the back of the trunk.

With most of his weight off me, breathing was a little easier. Shame filled me. I was naked from my waist to my ankles locked in a trunk. I couldn't die that way.

I tried to reach my panties and leggings, but I forgot that it's always easier to take off clothes than put them on. Jax was also still partly on top of me and I couldn't reach my clothes.

"Could you help me pull my clothes up?"

"I thought we were going to have sex."

"We're going to die in here. How much air do you think we have?"

"We are going to get out of here in a few minutes."

"In addition to hot wiring a car, you know how to get out of car trunks?"

"I allegedly know how to hot wire a car. I'm going to call Opie. He'll come over and let us out."

"Oh, thank God, you have your phone with you!"

"I thought you had your phone with you."

"I don't have my phone with me," I said. "I can't breathe. How much oxygen do you think we have left?"

Jax chuckled.

"I have my phone."

"Not, fucking funny," I said.

I was so angry that I kicked and punched at him. I couldn't really hurt him. The confined space in the trunk kept my blows from carrying any force.

"I'm sorry."

"You aren't. You think this is funny. It isn't and it's your fault."

"How is it my fault? You were the one who wanted to have sex in the trunk."

"You're the mechanic. I trusted you to come up with something so we didn't get locked in."

"Shit. It _is_ my fault."

"Call Opie and get us the hell out of here before I suffocate."

"You want to have sex first?"

"Damn you, Jax Teller," I said and then I kicked and punched him again. "I'm dying. You can have sex with my cold dead body."

"Never make that offer to Tig because he'll do it."

Jax reached into his cut, took his cell out and called Opie.

"Shit. Voice mail."

Jax left Opie a message telling him that he needed to talk to him and it was an emergency.

"As soon as he gets the message, he'll call and we'll be fine."

"Can you help me with my clothes now?" I asked gritting my teeth. I was finding it hard not to start kicking and punching Jax again. The only thing that made me hold off was needing his help in getting my clothes back into position.

"Why don't we have sex while we wait?"

"Jax, if you mention sex again, I guarantee that I will _never_ have sex with you again."

"Are you serious?"

My rage spilled out and I kicked and punched at Jax again. He was making a joke out of this thing and I was furious that he wasn't taking our situation seriously.


	12. Chapter 12

4

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 12 Confined**

Jax let me kick and punch him until my temper cooled. I couldn't really hurt him, but it made me feel better.

"We aren't going to suffocate. People get put into car trunks all the time. No one suffocates. Trunks are water tight, not air tight," Jax said when I calmed down.

"Help me with my clothes."

"Sure, baby, I can help you with that," Jax whispered.

He kissed my neck softly. He knew exactly how and where I liked to be kissed and he hadn't forgotten a thing in the time we had been apart. He slid a hand between my legs.

"Damn you, Jax Teller. Quit thinking about sex."

"What? My hand is on the way down to help you with your clothes."

"Keep it moving then."

"You know, we have a choice," his hand, on its way down to help with my clothes was still paused between my legs. "We can be miserable and unhappy in the trunk or we could find a more pleasurable way to pass the time."

"You're right. I'm going to do what gives me pleasure," I said and then I kicked and punched him again.

I'd forgotten to mention how hard it is to effectively kick someone with your panties and leggings down around your ankles. Getting locked in the trunk was bad enough, but being naked from the waist to the ankles was humiliating. I managed to make things even worse because all the kicking had caused my clothes to become tangled around my ankles.

When I finished kicking and punching him this time, I shoved him off me, reached down and tried to get my clothes back on. He tried to help me, but I wasn't fooled. He was trying to sabotage my efforts. Despite this, I finally managed to get my panties and leggings pulled up.

"Feel better?" he asked with amusement in this voice.

"No," I said. I kicked him this time in the shins. Without the impediment of my clothes around my ankles, I got a little force behind that kick.

"Ow."

"Now, I'm starting to feel better," I said.

"Then my pain was worth it."

He dropped soft kisses along my neck before he kissed me softly on the lips.

"Isn't this better now?"

"Ummm . . ." I said. I pressed myself against him. I'd come up with a plan. I was going to let Jax think I was going to have sex with him and when he was naked from the waist down, I would change my mind. Let him see how he liked being humiliated.

The problem with my plan was a flaw I should have seen coming; Jax's seductive powers were too much for me. When he began kissing me long and deep, all I could think of was how good it felt to be with him again and how much I loved him.

I thought about what he said about being miserable in the trunk or finding a more pleasurable way to spend the time. His kissing had calmed me and I was no longer afraid we would suffocate in the trunk.

His hands and lips reminded why I wanted to have sex in the trunk with him. And Jax was a skillful lover. He was the only man who could ever satisfy me sexually. I didn't even mind that it took Opie more than an hour to call back because we got to have sex in the trunk twice.

Later, after Opie let us out of the trunk, I got my revenge on Jax.

 **Next Up: Tara gets her revenge and Donna has an emergency at her house.**

 **Next Up for Me: A new chapter for Jax Is Really Alive. I also posted a new chapter to Tara's Story.**


	13. Chapter 13

5

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 13 Bat Out of Charming**

When Opie came to let us out of the trunk, he blamed Jax for it all.

"I don't know what sick and twisted reason you got Tara locked in the trunk with you, brother, but Tara's a nice girl. You don't do shit like that with a nice girl."

"Thanks, Opie," I said sweetly. "You understand the situation perfectly."

"I'll keep this a secret. This was seriously twisted, brother," Opie said. He shook his head with disgust.

"We were measuring the inside of the trunk from inside the trunk," Jax said. "Tara said it gives the most accurate measurement."

"I did not," I said indignantly.

Opie just shook his head again.

"We'll meet up back at the house around five." Opie said leaving us.

"I can't believe Opie turned on me like that," Jax said.

"I am helping Donna a lot and I'm making the cake. It's more important for Opie to keep Donna happy through me than it is for him to please you."

We had a nice dinner at Mario's. It's a nice Italian restaurant that has no benches, no arcade games and no televisions, so it's an adult kind of place.

Just before we could dig into our salads, Donna asked about how we got stuck in the trunk of my car.

Opie, Jax and I exchanged glances.

"Donna was there when you called," Opie explained hastily.

Jax smiled and patted my hand.

"Why don't you tell the story, darlin', you do it so much better than I do?"

"If you insist," I said.

"Oh, I insist," Jax said with a smile.

I've often held the view that if you are going to lie, you should do it with some style and you should go for a big lie.

"Since you insisted. I really thought you wanted to keep it a secret, but since you're insisting . . . Jax and I were in the garage. He had been telling me something about how the health department found rabid rats in Charming. I was just about to close the trunk when Jax points to a dark shape on the floor of the garage and says it's a rat and we should get in the trunk.

"It didn't look like a rat to me. I told Jax it was just a shadow, but he jumped in the trunk anyway. He was scared. I was shocked that a badass outlaw biker was afraid of a rat. I finally got into the trunk because he insisted. Once I got in the trunk, Jax remembered that the health department didn't find rabid rats. They found rabid _bats_.

"Jax pointed to a corner in the garage's ceiling and swore it was a bat. Before I could react and express my doubt, he pulled me down and closed the trunk so the rabid bat couldn't get us."

"Was there a bat?" Donna asked.

"No and there wasn't a rat either."

Opie just gave Jax another disgusted look.

Underneath the table, Jax stepped on my foot to let me know that he wasn't pleased with my story. He had only himself to blame since he insisted I tell the story.

I think that sweet, naïve Donna actually believed the story.

We went to the guys' house and sprung the dancing part of the wedding on them. Opie took the news in stride. He wasn't much of a dancer, but he would do it for Donna.

In the space of three minutes, I stepped on Jax's feet three times. Payback's a bitch and I was teaching Jax that lesson.

It was nice just slow dancing with Jax. Donna was learning rapidly. She rested her head on Opie's chest and seemed both at peace and truly happy.

Of course, this being Charming, that lovely moment didn't last long. Donna got a call on her cell from her sister.

"We have to go to my parents' house," Donna said.

"I think we should go too," I said.

"I would like that. Thanks Tara."

We hopped on the motorcycles and were at Donna's house in a few minutes. I wondered what had gone so wrong that Donna needed to get to her sister immediately, but I had my suspicions based on what she'd told me this afternoon.

Donna just walked into the house through the unlocked front door and we followed her in.

"What are you doing here?" her mother demanded.

"I want to see my sister," Donna said.

She must have heard the conversation because she came out from her bedroom. She had bruises up and down her arms and a knot on her head.

"See," Donna's father said, "she's fine. She just had a little accident at the park."

Donna's sister just looked at her sister, her eyes wide and scared.

"Donna, you have to tell the truth for your sister's sake," I said.

"Donna," Opie said softly, "tell me what's going on."

"This is your time to be heard. Save your sister," I said.

Donna was visibly shaking, but she remained silent.

For a few moments, I thought of telling them what was really going on in that family, but I resisted the impulse to tell. Donna needed to speak.

Her sister just kept staring at her. I think that was what finally broke Donna and she began speaking about the abuse she'd suffered at the hands of her mother including the bruises that she still had on her arms.

Jax and I left. It wasn't our place to listen to such an intimate family discussion.

Next Up: A new chapter of Tara's Story or a new chapter of this story.


	14. Chapter 14

8

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 14 Family**

The carrot cakes were baking in the oven and I had just finished my third batch of cream cheese frosting when my cell rang.

"You will never believe what just happened," Jax said.

"Tell me," I said.

"Donna filed assault charges against her mother. Unser arrested her and took her to jail."

"That was fast."

"What do you know about what's going on?"

"Donna called me about an hour ago. She called her grandparents to come over. Once Unser took Donna's mother into custody, Donna and her grandparents went into the house to talk to her father. They are trying to do kind of an intervention or deprogramming thing."

"Deprogramming?"

"Donna's mother has an odd way of thinking. From the way Donna described her life, it was like she was in a cult. With her mother gone, she and her grandparents are hoping to snap her father back to reality."

"I guess she didn't really have anything to lose since her parents aren't coming to the wedding or letting her sister come either," Jax said.

"I have a feeling that Donna's mother's paperwork is going to get lost and the soonest a judge can set bail will be January 2 or January 3. That's why the timing of this was so critical."

"Why do I have this feeling that Donna didn't come up with this plan all by herself?"

"I may have helped a bit."

Jax chuckled.

"Your fingerprints are all over this, babe."

"Yeah, I figured that you would know I had a hand in this."

"What's the master plan?"

"If they can get her father to see reality, he kicks her mother out of the house. He goes to court and gets protection for Donna's little sister. Donna's mother gets some court ordered counseling. The family gets counseling. Then Donna's parents reconcile and the family is put back together."

"So Donna doesn't want her mother in jail?"

"No. The only reason she filed charges was to get her mother out of the house. She needs her father to see how serious the situation is. Donna is terrified for her little sister. She and Opie have decided that they will take custody of her sister if necessary."

"I think you did a very good deed. You should be rewarded."

"I have a feeling that the reward you have in mind will also be a reward for you."

"You know I'm all about the win-win situation."

"Do you ever think of something besides sex?"

"You wound me," Jax said feigning heartbreak. "I was going to take you out to lunch. That Mexican restaurant that you loved so much moved. I thought we could have a nice lunch there. Then we'll go to the clubhouse to get the board for the cake."

"OK. I kind of thought of something else I could do. I was thinking about doing a groom's cake for Opie. He loves that chocolate cherry cake that I make. It's super easy. I want to do a picture of the reaper. I need an image of the reaper and I'll get it printed on edible paper."

"I like that. I can get you a picture."

"Can you get Gizmo to put it on a USB drive too? I'm not sure which the bakery will need."

"OK. Will you be at a stopping point in an hour?"

"Perfect timing. The cakes can cool while we're at lunch."

Donna stopped by. She was surprisingly calm given everything she had been through in the last day.

"How's it going with your family?"

"My father has agreed to let my grandparents and me stay tonight with him. Either Opie or me was going to stay with Piney. Now, we won't have to do that. He's also agreed to let my sister come to the wedding."

"That is progress. What happened last night after we left?"

"My mother and I really got into a fight. She tried denying everything until finally I got her so angry that she tried to hit me. Opie stepped between us.

"That made her even angrier and she started to say horrible things about me. My father just looked stunned. He was still defending her, so that's why I took the second step this morning."

"How did Opie take it when you told him you wanted to file charges on your mother?"

Getting law enforcement involved was a very tricky issue with the MC. They were outlaw and that meant they handled everything outside the law. I had been afraid that Opie might try to stop Donna from going to the police.

"He understood. He talked to Unser and my mother's won't get a bail hearing until January 3."

"Good. I hope you can get through to him before your mother gets out on bail."

"I don't think he would have ever come to see reality if I hadn't gotten my mother arrested. He needed to have that toxic influence gone."

"How angry was he about your mother's arrest?"

"He was mad, but my mother flipped out and tried to fight the cops. It was TV worthy. She almost got tased. Before the cop car got to the first stop sign, my grandparents and I were in the house."

"How's your sister doing?"

"So far, she's been OK. I've been putting movies on the den's DVD player and having her listen to them through headphones, so she doesn't hear what we're talking about. Once my mother got taken away, he seemed a lot more reasonable. She wasn't there to do his thinking for him anymore."

"Do you think CPS will get involved?"

"Probably. Opie and I have talked and we'll take custody of my sister if it looks like they are going to take her away."

"That's good. After my aunt died, I was always worried that I'd end up in foster care."

"I'm so glad she's too little to think about that."

"Do you think your mother will ever be able to admit what she was doing was wrong and change?"

"I don't know. I hope that if my father finds reality that will force my mother to change. At a minimum, I think my sister will be safe from abuse. My father gets abuse is wrong and what my mother did was wrong. He isn't a bad person.

"While my mother is gone, we're going to work on my father to get him to let my sister go to school. When I left public school, the abuse got a lot worse. I think that's why she started home schooling me. She was afraid that I might say something or a teacher would notice."

"I feel so bad for all that you've been through."

Donna smiled.

"Maybe I had to go through everything I did and Opie is my reward. He's been so strong and supportive of me once I told him. I don't know why I hesitated."

"Victims of abuse blame themselves. That's part of why abusers get away with it for so long," I said. Once again I was using my textbook knowledge of life.

"Is there any wedding thing I can help you with?"

"No, I have everything handled."

Donna hugged me.

"Thank you for everything. I couldn't have told without your help."

"Thanks. That means a lot."

I was happy and relieved that the plan Donna and I had come up with had worked out so well. Now it was up to Donna's father to do his part to fix his family.

Jax came by and we went to the Mexican restaurant I used to go to in the Small Mall before it moved. I was glad it had only moved and hadn't gone out of business.

I savored the food and being with Jax. The next day was going to be a mad dash until the wedding. Suddenly, I was feeling the pressure of all that I had to do. Worse, I still had to figure out what I was going to do with my future.

I appreciated the irony that I could help Donna figure out her life and it seemed like things were going to get better for her and her family—or at least for her sister, but I was completely clueless about how to fix my own life. I didn't even have anyone to talk to about it.

We picked up the board for the cake. Jax went to the grocery store to get the stuff I needed for the groom's cake while I went into the bakery a couple of doors down.

I knew I was going to have trouble getting the reaper picture printed out when I recognized the girl at the bakery counter from high school. She was one of the popular kids and she hated me because she'd tried to move in on Jax. There may have been a cat fight with some hair pulling.

The girl was the only one in the bakery, so I couldn't talk to her supervisor when she refused to print out the picture despite my offer to pay her.

Opie's cake needed that picture. There was only one thing to do aside from beating the girl unconscious and printing the picture myself; I would have to send Jax in to get the picture.

Jax came out with the stuff I needed for Opie's cake. I double checked that he got everything. I explained what I needed and he walked into the bakery while I waited in the car.

Ten minutes later, Jax came out of the bakery with two prints of the reaper and a big grin on his face.

"That was easy," Jax said as he got into the car.

"That's because you're Jax Teller," I said. "Is there anything you can't talk a girl into doing?"

"Staying in Charming," he said softly.

I needed to change this conversation's direction because I didn't want to think about the future. Living in the now was the only way I was going to get through the next couple of days.

"We really do need to talk," Jax said.

The tone in his voice made it likely that he had a relationship conversation in mind. I couldn't deal with that now on top of all the things I had to do for Opie and Donna's wedding.

"Let's go back to my dad's house. He's at rehearsal for two more hours."

"What do you have in mind?"

I leaned over and kissed him.

"You want to try the trunk thing again only this time we'll make sure we don't get locked in?"

 **Next Up for Me: I have two or three chapters left for this story. I've decided I'm going to finish this story before I do another chapter for Tara's Story or Jax Is Really Alive.**

 **Next up for Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas: A wedding packed to the brim with surprises and so much sweetness you might end up in a sugar induced coma. It's going to be sweeter than a Hallmark Christmas movie, but better because it has hotter guys.**


	15. Chapter 15

6

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 15 Cake**

I bravely sacrificed my body by climbing into the trunk of my father's car that was parked in the garage and having sex with Jax to distract him from a relationship conversation. This time, we didn't get locked in. I think he was a little disappointed by that.

Secretly, I was disappointed too. Once I realized we weren't going to suffocate when we were locked in the trunk, it was kind of hot having sex with Jax in a locked trunk. It added an extra element of spice.

"What do you think Opie would say if he knew sex in the trunk was your idea?" Jax asked me.

We were snuggling in the trunk. It wasn't comfortable but it was fun.

"I'm a nice girl and you're . . . well . . . you."

"What the hell does that mean?" Jax demanded.

"You're the kind of guy mothers warn their daughters about."

Jax laughed.

"You got me there."

As much as I would have liked to spend more time in Jax's arms, I had an insane amount of stuff to do. As soon as I was out of the trunk and dressed, I sat down and wrote out a "to do" list. It was my way of managing the insane amount of stress that I was under with both the wedding demands and my need to make a major life decision.

I finished frosting and piping rosettes on the two fake foam cake rounds. I split the carrot cakes into two and spread the pineapple curd on the layers and put the layers back together. Next I scraped on a crumb coating and let it harden.

I was taking a little risk with the cake's color. I was doing the cake in a cool gold color. I didn't want a bright yellow sunshine looking cake. I was going for a deeper gold that would coordinate with the linens and décor colors.

After I finished applying the gold buttercream to the wedding cake, I put the two foam layers on top as well as the small top layer of carrot cake. That would be removed, boxed and wrapped in plastic and put in the freezer, so Donna and Opie could eat it on their first anniversary. It was some sort of tradition I saw on TV. Gemma was going to handle this part of the process since Jax and I were leaving right after Donna and Opie at the wedding.

I went to the clubhouse to check on the decorations. The guys had secured small hooks to the ceiling. They then tied fishing lines to hooks, dropped lines down about three feet, ran fishing lines through hollow curtain rods and pulled the gold sheer panels Jax and I had got onto the curtain rods. They then finished the process by tying the fishing lines to hooks in the ceiling. By using clear fishing lines to suspend the curtain rods, it made the gold panels look like they were floating in air.

We were going to use the gold sheers to screen off a place for the ceremony and reception. Off to one side would be the table with the cakes. Gemma was handling getting the dishes, drinks and everything needed to serve the refreshments.

Tomorrow the guys would get the white rental chairs and arrange them to form a short aisle. They would also move the huge Christmas tree that Gemma had decorated so beautifully into place. It would be the backdrop for the ceremony. It would also look nice in pictures. The gold sheers would make a good backdrop for photos as well.

Given the amount of time and the small amount of money we had, it was shaping up to be a nice wedding. I had actually made the wedding look like I imagined or, more likely, I was delusional and it didn't look as great as I thought.

The guys had done a great job hanging the sheers in the perfect places. I checked with Donna to make sure she had given Gizmo a list of pictures she wanted him to take and marked that off my list.

Jax was off somewhere with Opie, so I returned to my father's house and took a little nap. There was so much to do and there was so much stress, I needed to recharge my body.

I was having trouble turning my mind off. It kept going around in circles as I thought about what I was going to do about staying in Charming. If my father hadn't insisted I come home for Christmas, I wouldn't have to make this decision. I would never have known that Jax and I could put our relationship back together so easily.

I had been able to shut out my thoughts of the future by focusing on getting the wedding done, but as the wedding got closer I was feeling the heat of having to make a heart-wrenching decision.

My father came home briefly before grabbing a suitcase and heading out. He and the band were doing a brief set at the hotel that night before the big New Year's Eve show the next day. He promised me on the way out that we would have a long talk after New Year's. Just more fun to look forward to.

Opie wasn't having a bachelor's party. Every Friday night after church was a bachelor's party with the clubhouse stuffed with available women.

Given how conservative Donna was, it was a good call. If Opie got pawed by a bunch of strippers, she could call off the wedding.

Piney was having a dinner for Donna's family. I wondered how that was going to go. Her mother was still in jail and I didn't know if her father would go to the dinner since he wasn't going to the wedding. At least her grandparents would be there and her father might let her sister go. Piney invited Jax and me to the dinner as well. I was grateful for the invite because I needed a break from cooking.

SAMCRO was having a BBQ before the wedding at the clubhouse. It was going to be tricky keeping Donna and Opie from seeing each other, but we would figure something out.

Jax was going to be in charge of the BBQ logistics. They were just going to cook hot dogs and buy different kinds of salads and side dishes from the grocery store. Simple and easy and no cooking for me.

My brain hurt from all the thinking. Wedding planning was a lot harder than college. I'd fulfilled all my wedding planning fantasies. The only difference was in my fantasies, I had a groom—Jax and it was my wedding.

Somehow I found the energy to finish the wedding cake. I used deep red buttercream to pipe rosettes using a star tip around each layer of wedding cake. Bits of gold peeked through and the effect was beautiful. After the buttercream dried a bit, I'd dust the cake with some edible gold luster dust that would make the cake glisten. Jax would have to help me move the cake from the counter and into the refrigerator until we moved it to the clubhouse.

Tomorrow, I would make Opie's cake. It would be easy since I was using a cake mix and a large can of cherry pie filling. I decided I would frost the cake with mocha flavored buttercream tinted gold to tie into the wedding cake. I would then apply the reaper decoration to the top of the cake.

It was my way of thanking Opie for rescuing Jax and me from the trunk of my father's car trunk and, most of all, keeping his mouth shut about it. I laughed again when I thought of Opie blaming Jax because he's Jax.

Yeah, he was Jax. Oh, God, I loved him so damned much. How the hell could I really be thinking of leaving him again? The idea of leaving him filled me with stark terror worse than any teen in a slasher flick facing the deranged serial killer without a weapon. How could I ever be brave enough? How could my heart survive another break-up? Why did I keep asking myself questions I didn't know the answer to?

Piney had the dinner at a little Italian restaurant in Charming. It had a back room that he had reserved. Donna's father hadn't come, but her sister and grandparents were there.

I was so lost in my own worrying over the wedding and worrying over my future, I have almost no memory of that dinner. I did remember that Opie and Donna were cute together and seemed deeply in love and happy.

I started thinking about living in Charming for the rest of my life and not seeing anymore of life except what I'd already seen. How could Jax be satisfied with a life that only consisted of Charming?

I pushed the thoughts away until after the wedding. Everything would work out after the wedding. I would know what I needed to do about my future after New Year's Eve.


	16. Chapter 16

11

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 16 Weddin** **g**

I snuggled close to Jax and spent the next five minutes relaxing because it was going to be the only break I was going to get until Jax and I got in my father's car and drove the hell out of Charming to my father's New Year's Eve performance.

Jax woke up and we spent a little more time in bed only we weren't relaxing, but we were more relaxed afterwards.

He went to TM to make and paint a board for Opie's cake that would match the board the wedding cake was on.

I mixed and baked the cake. While it cooled on cooling racks, I went to TM to pick up the board Jax had just finished making. I also wanted a look at the layout. We weren't going to move the wedding cake until everything inside was done because I didn't want any dust and stuff getting on the cake.

It was also buttercream so it wasn't as stable as a cake covered in fondant, but it would taste a whole lot better. I had a piping bag loaded with gold icing and another with the deep red icing I'd used to make the flower swirls. It was a first aid kit for the wedding cake. I'd learned that from my aunt too.

Just the idea of moving that cake made me want to throw up. If that cake crashed when the guys moved it, I'd wish Donna and Opie good luck with their marriage, take my father's car and run away. I wasn't sure if my emergency plan included Jax or not. I'd play it by ear on that last part.

Gemma was there supervising the placement of the white chairs. There weren't very many chairs, but Donna and Opie weren't having many guests and the clubhouse area for the wedding was pretty small.

She had also added some goth flair. She had a bunch of tall black wrought iron candlesticks with white candles clustered to either side of where Donna and Opie would take their vows.

I knew Gemma was doing it to compete with me, but new more mature Tara realized that the competition would make for a better wedding for Donna and Opie. That was a good thing and I accepted it. It wasn't about a rivalry with Gemma.

We would have an hour and a half after the BBQ to finish changing the clubhouse into a wedding venue. The guys would move the cake and Gemma would set up the refreshments. The aisle runner wouldn't be put down until right before the ceremony.

Donna would change into her wedding gown in the apartment. To Gemma's credit she had the apartment cleaned so it didn't smell like a men's locker room.

I was in the middle of frosting Opie's groom's cake when I remembered Donna's bouquet needed to be picked up before noon. I had almost forgotten. I called Jax to ask him to pick it up.

The next five minutes passed in a panicked blur of hell. I worried that there might be something I was forgetting that wasn't on my list. The whole wedding would fail, I would be humiliated and even worse I would ruin the most important day of Donna and Opie's lives.

I finished Opie's cake and had just applied the edible paper reaper that Jax had charmed out of the bakery girl who had been so mean to me when he called to tell me he had the bouquet. I marked another thing off my list.

I made a cover for Opie's cake from a large Christmas box that was covered in gold foil. I taped it to the board the cake was on. I did this partly to protect the cake when it was being moved, but mostly because I wanted Opie to lift the cover on the cake to reveal the reaper cake. It was a surprise for him. I took the bottom vegetable crisper and meat drawer out of the refrigerator and put Opie's cake in their place.

That was it. All my projects were done. I only had to help Donna get ready. The wedding had been a great diversion for me, but I was beginning to freak out about making a decision about staying in Charming. If I decided to leave, how could I ever tell Jax? I decided I could think about it tomorrow. I had to focus on the wedding.

The day passed in a blur. The BBQ was for "friends of" the MC. Donna had the first half hour or so of the BBQ and Opie would have the next. That would keep them apart. The BBQ would wrap up a half hour later.

No one except club members or wedding workers was allowed in the clubhouse. We wanted to keep the place special and avoid anyone messing around with what we had set up.

Finally it was go time. We had ninety minutes before the wedding and because I had some surprises planned, we were on a tight time schedule. Gemma had already covered the table we were using for the cakes and the refreshments with a long gold table cloth.

I gave Jax the key to my father's house. I couldn't bear to watch them move the cake. I was worried about it all from the trip from the refrigerator to the van, to the loading of the cake, to the drive to the clubhouse, to the unloading and bringing the cake into the clubhouse. There were just so many places for it to go wrong.

The guys would also bring the groom's cake and the piping bag first aid kit in case I needed to touch up the cake.

I was in the apartment with Donna when Gemma surprised us. Lu-ann had called in a few favors and had a make-up artist/hair stylist named Anna with her. She was going to help Donna get ready. Lu-ann also told Donna that she had a professional that would video the wedding.

Donna's eyes filled with tears and she hugged Lu-ann thanking her with shy sweetness. Lu-ann beamed with happiness. Her surprise for Donna was much appreciated and heartfelt.

Otto was in jail again for some offense. I think it was drunk driving—not in Charming, of course. I don't think if Otto ran someone down in a stolen car in front of ten witnesses, he would get arrested in Charming. It was somewhere near Oakland. He got caught a lot because he wasn't a very capable criminal.

Lu-ann and Gemma left. Anna began doing Donna's make-up. Donna was calm and looking forward to her wedding.

There was a tap at the door. I opened the door and stepped out into the hall.

"You need to come see the cake," Jax said grimly.

"Which one?" I asked. Stupid desperate me wanted him to be talking about the groom's cake.

"The wedding cake."

I could feel the color drain from my face. I followed Jax trying to prepare myself for the worst.

There was the wedding cake sitting side by side with the groom's cake in the middle of the table.

"What's wrong?" I asked anxiously.

The side of the cake that I saw looked fine. The other side must have gotten caved in or something. Maybe we could just leave it and no one would notice.

"Nothing," Jax said with a big grin. "I just wanted to scare the hell out of you."

"Bastard," I said to him under my breath. I slapped at him.

Jax pulled me close, leaning down to whisper in my ear.

"You want to work this out in the trunk of your father's car?"

"Only if it means putting your dead body in the trunk," I whispered back.

"Save all that passion for tonight," Jax said with that cocky Jax Teller grin.

"Bastard," I said and gave him a final slap to the arm.

I removed the tape on the groom's cake box and took a quick peek at the cake. It was perfect. I looked over the wedding cake and it looked perfect too. The guys had moved the cakes flawlessly.

I opened the cake first aid kit, grabbed the motorcycle cake topper with the bride and groom and put it on the top of the cake. It was a great touch.

The cake looked great sitting on the table. It was a very unconventional wedding cake, but I was proud of it.

"That cake looks great," Jax said.

"It's too late to get on my good side now," I said sternly. "Go take Opie and get changed for the wedding. Don't let him get drunk and don't get drunk either."

I found Gizmo and asked him to play my father's love song CD. Donna and Opie both loved it and wanted to have it played at the wedding. I also told him that we had someone who was going to make the wedding video. I think he was relieved that he only had to worry about pictures now.

I returned to the apartment and found Anna doing a great job with Donna's make-up. I was pretty sure that Anna worked on the sets of the porn films Lu-ann produced, but she did a perfect bridal make-up. Donna looked like her best self with subtle make-up that enhanced her natural prettiness.

Since Donna had the skills of a professional hair stylist, she decided to wear her hair up and not in the half-up and half-down she originally planned. Anna worked magic on Donna's hair giving her the perfect up-do. It was pinned up in that casual look that only a professional can really pull-off.

"Anna, you are great," Donna said when Anna gave Donna a big hand mirror so she could see herself for the first time with her hair and make-up done.

"The absolute perfect bridal hair and make-up," I said.

Donna gave Anna a big hug and then Donna and I were alone again. My phone rang. It was Jax. I took the call out in the hall.

"You have got someone to do the ceremony," Jax said.

"What do you mean?"

"Someone has to perform the ceremony. You made the arrangements, right?" Jax asked.

"Ummm . . . I thought Opie was handling that."

"Oh, fuck, this is bad."

"Yes, it is. OK. I will figure something out. Keep this quiet. I don't want Opie or Donna hearing about this."

"Do you think Unser could do the ceremony?"

"No. He's just a cop. I will figure something out."

I went out and checked the venue one last time before I helped Donna into her dress and I got into mine. Gemma had two punch bowls and cups set up on one side of the cake. On the other side of the cakes, she set up white dessert sized plates, forks and napkins. All of the white against the gold tablecloths looked really nice.

It was thirty minutes before the wedding and I had a couple of things left to do.

"It does look nice," Gemma said. "I wouldn't have picked the colors, but they don't look as bad as I thought they would."

"Thanks," I said. This was high praise coming from Gemma.

"I'm going to do the punch and we'll put down the aisle runner and we'll be done."

"I'm going to get changed and help Donna into her dress. Anna did a great job."

"Just don't tell Donna Anna normally works on porn film sets."

"I didn't."

I got out my checklist and crossed off things and added to it. I made a couple of calls and finally went back to help Donna into her dress.

I quickly did my hair and make-up and got into my dress. It looked good even with my purple hair. I pinned my hair back in the half-up, half-down look since Donna wasn't doing that with her hair.

Just as I began helping Donna into her dress, there was another tap at the door. It was Jax again. He was holding a couple of clear boxes with bouquets.

"I only ordered one bouquet," I said.

"I know, but bridesmaids are supposed to have flowers too. I had the florist make up one for you. That's what took me so long at the florist."

"That was so sweet," I said. I kissed Jax on the cheek. I was really touched that he had done that for me. I was even thinking about forgiving him for the cake joke.

He reached into the pocket of his cut and pulled out a small gold box.

"From Opie to Donna."

"Thanks."

"Everything is in place. Gemma's lighting the candles. We just need the bride and someone to do the ceremony."

"I may have someone who will do it."

"You are making me nervous."

"I'm going to help Donna with her dress."

I returned to the apartment and helped Donna into her dress. Anna had given me instructions on how to attach Donna's veil to her up-do. I got the veil on and adjusted to the prettiest angle with a couple of minutes to spare.

"This is from Opie to you," I said as I handed Donna the small gold box.

"I wasn't expecting anything," Donna said.

Inside were pearl earrings with a delicate single pearl drop. They would swing gently with every movement of Donna's head.

"They're perfect," I said.

Donna was smiling ear to ear.

"He's so sweet."

Donna was putting on the earrings when I got a text from Jax and left Donna in the apartment.

I walked down the hall and met him as the bar.

"Opie and her grandfather went to her father and gave him a talking to. They made him realize he needed to be at the wedding and walk his daughter down the aisle. He's changing his clothes. He's going to be here in five minutes. Can you ask Donna how she feels about this?"

Before I could leave, Donna's grandmother called me over and we had a quiet talk near the door to the chapel.

I got a text message and sent a quick answer before I returned to the apartment.

"Those earrings look so pretty on you," I told Donna.

"I really love them."

"Jax told me that Opie and your grandfather had a talk with your father. He is coming to the wedding and he wants to walk you down the aisle."

Donna looked stunned by this news.

"I really wanted him to walk me down the aisle, but my grandfather was there for me. I can't tell him he can't do that."

"You could have one walk you half-way and the other the rest of the way or you could have them on either side of you."

Donna nodded slowly and gave that some thought.

"I know the aisle is pretty short, but I would like them each to walk me half-way with my father being first and my grandfather last."

"OK," I said.

I went to tell Jax and take one last look. Bobby finally arrived and we were all set to go.

"Places," I called. "Everyone take your seats, please."

The wedding was about to begin.

 **Author's Note: On July1, I will post the last chapter that begins with the wedding and ends with a happy ending.**


	17. Chapter 17

12

 **Jax and Tara's Unexpected Christmas**

 **Chapter 17 Happily Ever After**

All the lights in the clubhouse were off. It was lit only by the light cast by the two Christmas trees and the candles that Gemma had added to the décor.

I took a peek and the clubhouse was transformed. The gold hanging panels made the space cozy and intimate. Gemma's aisle runner featuring red roses and yellow peonies bordering the sides of the aisle runner really added to the wedding feel of the space. She had done a beautiful job.

The guests sitting in their white chairs were the MC, Gemma, Lu-ann, a few old ladies that I didn't know and Donna's grandmother. Donna's father and grandfather were standing in the aisle waiting to escort her.

Bobby was sitting up near where Donna and Opie were going to exchange vows wearing one of his Elvis costumes. He began playing "Here Comes the Bride" on his guitar.

His appearance was a surprise. He drove two hours to be at the wedding and he would drive two hours back to the venue where he was doing his Elvis act.

Donna's little sister Sophie walked down the aisle first wearing a red dress and carrying a small white wicker basket filled with gold confetti. She tossed the confetti into the air as she walked down the aisle. She was grinning from ear to ear because she got to be in the wedding.

It wasn't my idea. Her grandmother suggested it and had gotten the basket and confetti earlier that day. That's what we had been talking about earlier.

Opie and Jax walked down the aisle next. They both were very dressed up for SAMCRO. They wore black pants, black shoes, long-sleeved white shirts and, of course, their black leather cuts. Jax had never looked hotter and Opie looked OK too.

I walked down the aisle next. Jax was giving me a desperate look because the officiant hadn't shown up yet. I just smiled at him.

Donna got into place. She didn't want Opie to see her until she was standing at the beginning of the aisle. She looked perfect. Her red lipstick, her bouquet with red, gold and white flowers and her red crisscrossed strapped ballet flats were perfect with her white wedding gown with the slightly higher gathered front that showed off her shoes. The veil, updo and delicate pearl earrings and soft make-up gave her a timeless beauty.

I signaled Jax and he told Opie to turn around as Donna's father took her arm and we all stood up. I would never forget the look on Opie's face when he saw Donna. He just lit up with happiness. He was so in love with her.

Donna's father escorted her a few yards. He was wearing black pants and a light gray long-sleeved shirt. Whatever had been going on before with him was over. He was smiling and he seemed genuinely happy to be escorting his daughter down the aisle. Donna's grandfather also in black slacks and a light blue shirt walked Donna the rest of the way up the aisle.

This was the cue for my big scene.

"The officiant doesn't appear to have shown up," I said, sounding embarrassed. "Is there anyone that could perform the ceremony?"

Everyone looked around uneasily. Gemma stared at me. I knew she wanted to beat the crap out of me.

"I'll just have to do it then," Piney said in his growly voice.

Piney stood up and took up the position that the officiant would take.

"Is that legal, Pop?" Opie asked.

"Yes," Piney said with a deep booming laugh. "Tara and I cooked up this little surprise. I am officially licensed to perform weddings. We wouldn't want to do anything outside the law, would we?"

Everyone laughed. I think I saw tears in Opie's eyes. I knew it would mean a lot to him if Piney performed the ceremony. Piney surprised me by agreeing to do it. He genuinely loved Donna and knew that she was good for son.

Jax looked at me and I think he may have mouthed the words "you're in trouble" to me. I smiled at him again.

"Now, don't be mad at Tara for this surprise. It was my idea to make it a surprise. I'll never forget the look on my boy's face."

Piney reached into his cut, pulled out his officiant script, and began the ceremony.

After Opie put the wedding band on Donna's finger, Jax reached into his cut and pulled out a simple gold band and handed it to Donna.

"This wedding ring has been handed down in my family for almost 150 years. My great-grandfather wore it and now my husband will wear it," Donna said softly before putting the band on Opie's finger. "Now, Opie, you're part of my family too."

I did see tears in Opie's eyes then. I hadn't known about the wedding ring. Jax and Donna had kept this secret from me. It was such a sweet and tender moment.

Piney told Opie he could kiss the bride. Opie made the kiss Hallmark movie respectable. Piney then introduced Mr. and Mrs. Winston. Everyone clapped.

There were fancier and more costly weddings, but I don't think any wedding could top Opie and Donna's wedding for the amount of love between the two of them and the love and good wishes from the guests.

Normally, the wedding cake would be cut and then dancing, but to work with Bobby's schedule, we changed tradition.

Bobby wanted to sing for Donna and Opie's first dance because Opie loved Elvis' version of "Can't Help Falling in Love" so much and he had to head back in twenty minutes to do the two hour drive and get to his show on time.

I pictured the dance as uniting Opie and Donna's families. Opie and Donna danced together. Next, she danced with her father, grandfather and last of all Piney. Opie danced with Sophie and then her grandmother.

It was beautiful to see two families unite. There was so much happiness, I hoped that Donna and Opie would always be that happy.

"Encore!" Clay yelled. "Everyone dance!"

Jax and I began to dance together.

"You could have told me about Piney. I thought the wedding was ruined."

"You should have known I wouldn't make such a big mistake," I said.

"Everyone dance!" Clay yelled again. "I don't care if you have a partner or not."

The seats emptied and everyone danced. Those without partners moved their feet side to side or held their arms out pretending they had an partner. It was funny, but also really great to see everyone come together in a dance for Donna and Opie.

Bobby sang the song for the third time and then he said Elvis has left the building. I think it was something Elvis used to say or something like that.

There were sheer gold panels that screened and hid the refreshment table. Gemma and I each pulled one of the panels aside to reveal the refreshment table.

I was watching Donna and Opie hoping they would like the wedding cake. A red and gold wedding cake was way outside the lines. I was hoping that when Donna told me the colors for the cake, she was being honest.

"Oh, Tara, it's beautiful. I never imagined it would look this beautiful," Donna said.

"Tara, thank you so much."

"You're both welcome. Opie, lift the gold foil lid. That's a groom's cake."

Opie lifted the cover and stared at the reaper cake for a couple of seconds before picking up the cake and holding it so everyone could see it.

Everyone started clapping. Opie returned the cake to the table and hugged me. Donna hugged me next.

Opie and Donna thanked everyone for coming together and making their wedding so beautiful. Gemma and I got extra thanks for all that we did. I was glad our work was appreciated.

Gemma helped them through the cake cutting. Opie and Donna cut the wedding cake and tenderly fed each other the first bite. Opie then cut the reaper cake and fed the first bite to Donna.

The guys brought in a couple of tables and moved the chairs around the tables. Gemma and Lu-ann covered the tables with gold tablecloths. Gizmo had turned on my father's love song CD.

Most guests sampled both cakes. Gemma had made a sweet punch with rainbow sherbet floating on the top and a more adult champagne punch. Sophie was watched to make sure she only had the sweet punch.

Lu-ann's video guy finished the video and promised to send it to Gizmo who would put the video together and add music. Gizmo continued to take pictures.

I walked over to Donna's sister and gave her my bride's maid's bouquet that Jax gave me. This wasn't my idea. I'd been to a wedding and one of the bride's maids gave her bouquet to a little girl. I still remembered the look of happiness on the child's face.

I was leaving in less than an hour, so it wasn't a sacrifice to give Sophie my bouquet. She smiled and hugged me. Gizmo captured it all on his camera. There's just a special feel to happiness when you make another person happy.

"OK, everyone, we're about to leave, but I have a surprise for my wife," Opie grinned when he said the word "wife". I think it was the first time he'd used the word since he got married.

We all followed Opie outside. He pulled out his cell phone and made a call. There were the familiar "pop pop" sounds and the air was filled with fireworks.

I found out later from Jax that Opie had prepared all the fireworks and taught one of the prospects how and when to light them. Three minutes later and the fireworks finished.

Sophie and her grandmother handed out little bottles of bubbles to use instead of the traditional throwing rice at the bride and groom. The bubbles caught the street lights and had a beautiful iridescent shimmer as they floated up into the night sky.

A limo came through the TM gates. It was going to take Opie and Donna into San Francisco. SAMCRO called in a few favors for that. They left after their suitcases were transferred from the old Caddy they were going to take to San Francisco to the limo.

Donna decided she didn't want to do the bouquet tossing. She gave her bouquet instead to Gemma who was going to hang it upside down so the flowers would dry.

The day felt like it went on forever and I was glad to get in my father's car and drive away, but my happiness lasted about thirty seconds because I began to worry about what I was going to do about leaving Charming.

Once more, I decided to put off thinking about that decision until sometime the next day. This might be the last night Jax and I had together. I should enjoy it and not ruin it with worrying.

Despite my intentions, worrying stayed in the background of my mind like elevator music. When we got to the hotel, the hotel suite turned out to be a typical hotel room only with a separate bedroom and a little nicer furniture.

Jax was adding a tie and removing his cut. This was a big deal since he practically lived in that thing, but this wasn't the right place to wear it.

I slipped off the lacy stretchy thing with sleeves, so my dress was now the way it was designed—strapless. I added more make- up doing the smoky eye look and deep red lipstick. I knew that the fashion magazines preached that you can do a smoky eye or a bold lip, but not the two together. I discovered that the world continued on despite the fact I was violating this fashion rule.

Jax and I sat at a table with other band members' family or guests. The dinner was great and my father's band was amazing. My father could really sing and he was a great showman.

While Jax and I were slow-dancing, all I could think about was how easy it would be to slip back into life in Charming. Jax and I would be together.

The next morning, Jax and I ate brunch with my father before driving back to Charming. I was leaving the next afternoon to fly back to San Diego. When I told Jax, I left the part out about not coming back.

My father actually made good on talking to me about my future later that evening. I listened to what he had to say and I was surprised because what he said made sense. I don't know if my teenage angst made me see my father in such an unfavorable light or if not seeing him for a year changed the way I was seeing him.

The next day, I walked over to Jax's house and talked to him outside. I would have preferred for my father to have been in the car waiting at the curb so when I finished talking to Jax, I could hop in and we could leave. It would have been a drive by break-up.

I was so nervous and sick, I'd thrown up breakfast and lunch. We were outside and I just couldn't figure out how to even start the conversation.

"I'm going back to San Diego. My father's waiting to take me to the airport."

"When does school finish?"

I memorized the way he looked with the sun turning his hair to gold and his eyes that perfect sky blue.

"I can't come back to Charming . . ." I began.

I had already decided that I was not going to confess that I just told Gemma I was coming back to Charming to hurt her. I'd come up with a better cover story that made me look less petty.

"What do you mean?" Jax interrupted.

"When I was helping Donna with her wedding, I just kept thinking that her whole life began and would end in Charming. I want to see things outside this town. I want to do things outside of what's possible here. I feel like if I come back here, I'm giving up on life."

"What about me?"

"You are the only reason I would move back here. That's it."

"And it's not enough?" Jax's face was flushed with anger and I could hear his fury.

I shook my head and began to walk away.

"Tara, don't come back to Charming again unless you're staying," Jax called after me.

I turned to look at him for one last time. My eyes were filled with tears. I think his eyes were filled with tears too, but everything looked watery to me.

There wasn't any point in talking further. It just added to the pain. I had made up my mind. Talking it over with Jax just made it more painful.

I never went back to Charming. My father came to see me at the Christmas and New Year's Day holidays and we would spend a couple of weeks on vacation somewhere during summers.

Leaving Jax for the second time was the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life, but it was the right thing to do.

I was always supposed to leave. I needed to grow up on my own becoming my own person. I would never have had the strength I needed to fight for the kids the way I did and help and change Jax without that ten years of self-discovery and growth.

Those ten years apart weren't wasted. What we had each gone through in those years caused us to fit together so well when I returned to Charming. That time apart brought us together.

I don't think our love would have lasted if I had stayed those ten years in Charming. I had to learn to be comfortable with the person I am and see myself as something other than my disastrous teenage self.

My father was right when he told me I couldn't do that in Charming. I leaned a lot on Jax. I needed to find strength inside me and not rely on him. As long as Jax was in my life, I would have used him as a crutch.

Even dating Joshy Kohn was right. That night in Chicago when he put his hands around my neck and choked me, I thought he was going to kill me. Facing death was what made me see that what I wanted most in life was Jax. (Tara's Story). I realized I needed to try again with him. I was strong enough and I was ready.

It's easy to have a more accepting looking at the past because Jax and I have died and returned to life and with it, we both gained insight and wisdom we never would have had if we hadn't died. (Jax Is Really Alive).

Our future will be happy because we are working together for that reality. We all write our own endings. Jax and I will write our own happy ending together. Never doubt that we will get there. We _will_ live happily ever after. I promise.


End file.
